Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Stupidest David Ould Quote. Ever.

Just when you thought you’d heard it all…

What goes on in our bedrooms while private is also a public matter.
David Ould 
St. Augustine’s Anglican Church 
Neutral Bay, Sydney Australia.
Contrary to what they might say on the type of web sites Deacon Dobby seems to have been spending waaaayyy too much time researching when he thinks nobody’s watching, providing what occurs in a person’s bedroom is between consenting adults and doesn’t result in death or injury then the law of pretty much every country with a name not ending in “stan” says it is private. And while he’ll no doubt be shocked to hear this, when Queen Elizabeth declared she had “no desire to make windows into men's souls” she didn’t follow it up by ordering clergy to make peepholes into each other’s bedrooms. Even if that is a thought Dobby clearly finds exciting.

Or as the brave friend who drew this to my attention said: “I DEMAND to see new videos from the nose-picking Neutral Bay deacon in the nude.” Which would be a truly frightening challenge if there wasn't absolutely no chance of the nasty little Pharisee ever actually doing himself what he demands of others. Which also reminds me: I wonder if the education of which he is inordinately proud included enough history to gain an understanding of how the Anglican Evangelicals of a century ago viewed clergy who married Chinese women? Because the expression I seem to recall hearing when I was a young man was "the sin of miscegenation", and I don't believe those using it did so in the context of praising the beauty of mixed-race children. Nor do I remember them ever stopping to think that instead of being directly countenanced by the Scriptures as they claimed, their loathsome racism was in fact merely the product of a culturally blended cocktail comprising equal parts ignorance, arrogance, fear, and stupidity.

I’m Father Christian and anyone who wants to see what goes on in my bedroom must be over eighteen and have a valid credit card.

25 comments:

Dobby Ould said...

You would de disappointed, Minister Troll, if you saw my subordinate wife and myself "in flagrante". We have made it publicly known she does NOT wear LOVABLE KNICKERS. We always use the Calvinist Missionary Position. I am reporting you to Bishop Quinine for "conducting unbecoming a minister in Baptist orders".

http://melindatankardreist.com/2010/09/%E2%80%9Cyou-are-communicating-to-me-a-completely-unrealistic-view-of-women%E2%80%9D-a-man-takes-on-lovable/

The Bishop of Gippsland said...

Sadly, someone has reported me to my boss, Deacon David Ould, who has demanded I write him a report on the sex lives of my clergy. I fear I may be sacked if Deacon Ould disapproves of my findings.
Does anyone know anything about Deacon Ould's private parts? Does he have relatives obsessed with their anus and prostate? Or perhaps a twin brother who wanted to kiss a sexy young man he saw on TV?

David Ould said...

I have started a new fashion whilst picking my nose in the pulpit. I wear NO PANTS!

http://www.lionelwindsor.net/2012/02/24/greek-or-hebrew/comment-page-1/#comment-2726

Anonymous said...

You definitely need to celebrate your church's growing diversity! And your church is still shrinking, isn't it? In Rhode Island, the Episcopal Cathedral is closing-if they didn't, in three and a half years their endowment fund would be empty. Which is quite a lot, considering how grossly disproportionate the wealth of Mainline Protestantism is.
Raise a glass to toast the end of superstition dressed in the flamingly gay silk robes of pseudo-relevance.

Mike Hunt said...

The bishop of RI is one of the more conservative in the TEC's hierarchy, Dobby. Maybe this has something to do with it? If you want to see a diocese in free-fall (the sharpest decline if any diocese in the US) check the diocese of SC's annual statistics (communicants and income) for the years since Mark Lawrence's consecration. Then again, Sydney archdiocese has had problems in recent years on account of its Mammon worchip, hasn't it?

Brother David said...

Mike, that comment bears the prints of Brad, escaped and using Matron's computer I wager, not the Deacon nose picker.

Anonymous said...

Yes "My C*nt", you're right; I guess religion has no chance at all. No matter how you slice it, it's still baloney. But doubtless you'll be trying ways to become more "diverse" and persisting with delusions of relevance so long as there's one ex-catholic divorce left who wants to sing weird songs with a Baptist with a BA who's sick of believing in Jesus riding a rapton.

David Ould said...

Please stay on topic. The subject is about MY stupidity.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

It's just occurred to me that Dobby must be the only being on the planet who should feel flattered at having been mistaken for my unlovable love-child Brad.

Anonymous said...

It's good to see that a permanent site has been found for an apology obtained under duress. David's training has been extensive, including the effective skills of shaming and blackmailing, when needing to silence somone.

MadPriest said...

This was the attitude of The News of the World and look what happened to that esteemed publication.

Mike Hunt said...

Can't keep Cousin Adolf's genes down, can you?

Anonymous said...

Words fail me how obsessed with David Ould you folks are. I mean, you take half a sentence out of context and use it as an excuse to write insult after insult about him. You really are great advocates for liberal Christianity.

David Ould said...

Please stop mocking me. Just because I demanded the sacking of a Gippsland priest, you think you can mock my dislike of sexy knickers. I only wished to make public the private sex life of a homosexual. Removing others from their jobs is part of my Calvinist ministry.

Ophelia Teetz said...

Mike, I find your name very offensive!

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Ah Anonymous 7:35, but words didn't fail you. You showed you colors most eloquently.

So what would you have us do? Stand by in silence and watch while lives are destroyed, the good news of the Gospel is reduced to a homophobic witch-hunt, and the name of Jesus continues to be made synonymous with bigotry?

I don't think so, Anonymous. We love God and those whom God loves too much for that.

Our greatest weapon might only be laughter, but above all else the Pharisees have always feared being mocked. Ridicule exposes their pomposity for what it is.

Mike Hunt said...

My namesake is sheriff of Aiken County, South Carolina, Ophelia, though for some reason (name recognition no money can buy, perhaps?), he seems to go by "Michael", except at election time. I fail to see what about my name offends you.

Prostate Pete said...

I'm glad I haven't a silly name.

David Ould said...

I stand by my statement that my private sex-life is a matter of wide public interest. Most of my Baptist parishioners in Sydney Diocese agree with me:

http://www.sydneyspornlife.com/

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Happy birthday, Fr. Troll.
Fr. Maxwell Smart+

David Ould said...

As part of our observance of Lent, Sydney Baptist Diocese is celebrating God's Word on the streets. I am dressing as Judy Garland.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=SVZgXarnadA#!

Mike Hunt said...

And singing this, Dobby?

M Hunt said...

What has happened with embedded links? I was linking this for Dobby to sing - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUB4XcQYq9A

David Ould said...

I am not just concerned about publicising my rampant public sex life. Old fossils prove God's Infallible Word in Exodus. And I am not referring to my Jensenite Masters in Mordor.

http://reformationanglicanism.blogspot.com/2012/03/david-ould-exodus-and-archaeology.html