Funnily enough, after yesterday revisiting one of my favourite “Gathered Brethren” links, I’ve now been called to add another. Hosted on the appropriately named “bloghorn” servers, our new addition rejoices in a full name so pretentious that even its “editor” and sole writer only mentions it in very small letters, preferring the streamlined cutting-edge abbreviation of “MCJ”.
Run by little Whatshisname, he and his charming team of commenters have so much to teach those of you who daily visit me here at GAFCON. Whereas your comments are invariably polite, showing each other courtesy and respect, their’s are a powerful witness that Jesus’ “love thy neighbour” stuff might have been appropriate two thousand years ago, but He only had to contend with Bible-believing God-fearing Pharisees. If Jesus had been faced with a Church consumed by Apostate Sodomites and Liberals he’d surely have been just as aggressive as BubbaStoneHeart, BigWhiteBible, and all the other inspiring pseudonyms vying for attention in Whatshisnames’ comment fields. Except Jesus would probably have known how to spell. And not have found guns quite so sexually arousing.
Where these shining brothers (and even sisters) truly excel, however, is in their exegetical understanding. For example: when studying Luke 6:41-42 Liberals always approach Jesus’ words about first removing the plank in one’s own eye before dealing with the speck in another’s as if He was figuratively teaching some sort of principle. Yet, as the folks at MCJ so clearly understand, Jesus was speaking literally. He was explaining the obvious fact (since people back then were stupid because television hadn’t yet been invented) that if you happen to have a plank in your eye (an extremely rare occurrence, you’ll have to agree) it should be removed before performing anything as delicate as removing a speck from somebody else’s eye. If you don’t happen to have a plank in your eye (and who does other than perhaps a few drunken sawmillers who’ve never realised professional wrestling is phoney?) this passage simply doesn’t apply! So when it comes to excluding anyone from the love of God, or intimidating a minority who’ve been persecuted for centuries, Our Lord’s ophthalmic advice is irrelevant. Just dive in and whack ‘em as hard as you want. That’s how they do things at the Midwestern Conservative Journal, and that’s the future of the Anglican Communion if the Gathered Brethren have their way.
I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.