Saturday, May 24, 2008

Virtue Online

Of all the many blessings showered upon mankind few are greater than the miracle that David W. Virtue’s father was not named Mr. Hotsweaty-Bondagebar. How different a place would the web be if the scent we now know as Virtue Online instead belonged to a rose of some other name?

Let there be no doubt. David W. Virtue is a true a gift to Bible-believers, one which no GAFCON man need ever contemplate instructing his wife to return to Wal-Mart for credit. From young David’s innovative use of RANDOM CAPITALS for emphasis (thereby ensuring THOSE less familiar with the Scriptures miss no SUBTLE insight), to his canny understanding of global media, whereby he can routinely perceive that an ordinary Reuters press release is actually a Virtue Online EXCLUSIVE, this web site sets the standard for GAFCON churches everywhere.

Perhaps an explanation for the powerful impact Virtue Online has made upon the faithful lies in the fact that David’s experience is in journalism, rather than in theology or ministry. Thus while men of the church are renowned for being impulsive and sensationalist, he brings the considered and pastoral approach of a successful popular journalist. Where a Christian academic might glibly seize upon one or two points without considering an issue’s broader historical and hermeneutic implications, David W. Virtue shares the fine mass-media tradition of patiently reviewing all implications before reaching any conclusions. Where lesser men refuse to review earlier findings, and instead stubbornly maintain their original position even when they know it to be wrong, David is committed to always maturely admitting any errors before revising his position and moving on in truth and love. That there are no examples of this occurring is simply because Mr. Virtue has never made a mistake, as he is the first to admit.

Despite fierce opposition, this man always remains resolute. Whereas liberals deleted his Wikipedia entry last January, David has kept the link in a powerful symbolic gesture of defiance against those who would see him silenced. For those of us who respect David it’s more than just a dead link – it’s proof he NEVER GIVES AN INCH when it comes to responding to critical taunts.

If there is just one problem with Virtue Online it’s this: a small matter of truthfulness. Now I realise truth is not an important issue for many GAFCON Christians, but in this instance I will be taking action to correct Mr. Virtue. His site claims to be The Voice for Global Orthodox Anglicanism, which is patently UNTRUE. I am The Voice for Global Orthodox Anglicanism.

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.

END

3 comments:

Canon Itchy said...

You have become a wonderful Christian warrior to us in such a short time! How blessed we are to have you as a mentor and role model for all Bible-believing non-negotiators with Truth. How do you keep it up?

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

My Dear Canon Itchy!
How lovely to hear from you, and thank you for kind words.

The secret of my zeal is twofold: firstly through study of the Scriptures "I am still as strong today as the day Moses sent me out; I'm just as vigorous to go out to battle now as I was then." (Joshua 14:11), and secondly that regular doses of the "Spiritual Viagra" found on the sites listed in my "Gathered Brethren" sidebar can be assured to stimulate the manhood of even the most insipid Christian, let alone that of a seasoned commando such as myself.

If this strategy doesn't help, I believe monkey-gland transplants can work wonders.

Archdeacon Ivor Hotsweaty-Bondagebar said...

And your point about names is what exactly?