Saturday, May 17, 2008

Titus One Nine

Kendall S. Harmon is not a good man, since the Bible teaches that God alone is good. (Mk 10:18). He knows, however, that he is a righteous man, and he enjoys reminding others of this.

His ever informative site Titus One Nine is an important adjunct to any GAFCON Christian’s arsenal. Even the name is an Biblical reference worth memorising, although I am still disappointed he lacked the resolve to persevere with his original choice of Nahum Three Six

The only caution which I am out of obedience to The Word compelled to make is that the Rev. Dr. Harmon is currently influenced by the hideous darkness that is Paganism and Wicca. Instead of referring to his assistants by their appropriate title of “Domestic Staff” (or, since he lives in South Carolina, where a more Biblical attitude towards such matters prevails, “Slaves”), Titus One Nine purports to be administered by elves!

Now I have read the Bible from cover to cover more times than any other man in the entire Communion, and I can assure you that there is within the Sacred and Hallowed pages absolutely no reference to elves. The existence of such beings is a lie with foul origins in the Satanic labyrinth of Pagan mythology: a darkness which has no fellowship with the light of GAFCON.

Having prayerfully considered this matter I am still prepared to recommend Titus One Nine as a source of Bible teaching, albeit with the proviso that women should best avoid it until young Kendall has repented of this disgraceful flirtation with evil.

For those men of sufficient maturity to not be seduced by the blatant Paganism, might I suggest that each visit be accompanied by an email to Kendall himself at KSHarmon@mindspring.com, urging him to turn from this wickedness and live (Ezekiel 18:27). Please, however, be aware of your manners: Canon Harmon is a sensitive and caring man, famous for his gentle and compassionate heart. Be sure when rebuking him you speak with the same love he so warmly shows others

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.

8 comments:

Ellie Finlay said...

Truly shocking!

joseph said...

But Jesus never said anything about elves, so they must be okay.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

GET THEE BEHIND ME SATAN!!! (Luke 4:8)

Does the Bible mention Democrats, Islamic Terrorists or Baptists? Are you next going to suggest that they are not also evil???!

Does St. Paul warn against the evils of Mormonism? Do the Blessed and Inspired Writings of Moses mention the Wonder-bra? By your line of reasoning these are also acceptable, I suppose?

It's liberal reasoning like yours, Joseph (how the Saints must weep to behold the depths to which someone with a name as Biblical as yours as fallen), that represents the thin end of the wedge threatening to crush the fine ministries of young men like Canon Harmon and Father Kennedy. Well I SAY TO YOU take such deception elsewhere! There is no place for it here.

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.

joseph said...

Well, I think the Wonder-bra could lift anyone's spirits...

Emily said...

I find Fr. Harmon's innovations truly shocking. As a child I watched Bishop Fulton Sheen on TV and, I believe, he received angelic assistance to help him erase his blackboard. He did not use elves. Genesis 1-2 does give man dominion over all the earth and creatures that fly, etc. but, as correctly pointed out above, there is no biblical reference at all to elves To elevate these, possibly demonic creatures despite what the revisionist author JRTolkein might say of them, to the level and function of Bishop Sheen's angel is appalling!

Emily said...

I find Fr. Harmon's innovations truly shocking. As a child I watched Bishop Fulton Sheen on TV and, I believe, he received angelic assistance to help him erase his blackboard. He did not use elves. Genesis 1-2 does give man dominion over all the earth and creatures that fly, etc. but, as correctly pointed out above, there is no biblical reference at all to elves To elevate these, possibly demonic creatures despite what the revisionist author JRTolkein might say of them, to the level and function of Bishop Sheen's angel is appalling!

Anonymous said...

Fr. Christian. I write only under the burden of a fellow Christian, who, when he sees the error of his brother, corrects him so that he shall not be led further astray. I realize that another Christian would normally be present to assist in the admonishment, but not many are yet familiar with your deviancy. But I digress…The Matter at Hand… You have been quick to point out Fr. Harmon’s clear errantcy in using elves to monitor his blog, but you yourself have failed, as far as I can see, to put in place, any protection at all on your blog to insure that all on your blog hear the word and only the word. You have been up for more than a week. Therfore, faithfully following biblical mandate to correct error, may I suggest some posting guidelines that have been effective on other orthodox sites.
1. Should a revisionist poster actually bring up documents or evidence to support his (or her argument, (It may be a her as revisionists don’t know any better) respond with an ad hominem insult.
2. Should the poster state that the poster is lying using italics to add emphasis.
3. Immediately shut down the thread before the poster has a chance to respond with “proof”. This will assure your authority.

As an aside, my experience is that, in protecting the sheep, an attack dog is needed at the gate. Bitches work best.

Anonymous said...

On the above, #2 Please excuse my typing error. I meant to say. 2. Accuse the poster of lying and use italics to emphasize that your assessment is correct.