Since I do not permit my congregation to view the World Wide Web, they were unable to comprehend the importance of us commencing this crucial internet ministry. Nonetheless, exactly in accordance with my initial pronouncements, this mission to the captives of darkness has indeed begun to quench the thirst of those yearning for the freedom of clear Bible Teaching.
Consequently I have instructed my parish council to increase my stipend and other remunerative benefits accordingly. Yet, as I told them, there is also much danger associated with my new-found renown. As Proverbs 16:18 teaches with blessed clarity: "Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall."
Therefore it is essential that, as I have ordered them, the congregation humbles themselves immediately, and enters unto a season of penitence lest their hearts be captured by vanity and pride. Congregational uniforms have been confiscated and replaced with sackcloth and ashes, and when it is revealed to me that their time of repentance and humility is concluded they will be able to repurchase their uniforms at a generous discount.
Further, the ministry team and domestic staff will set a special example by being restricted to a diet of bread and water. Since the Bible teaches that any man called to carry the burden of leadership is to do so in mercy (Luke 6:36) they shall be not be required to prepare my meals in the rectory during this time. Instead I shall use this period of spiritual growth to witness at several fine local restaurants.
I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.