Life at the rectory is currently rather gloomy due to everyone fasting and praying for humility in the face of my recent publicity, so yesterday I decided to spend the afternoon in spiritual retreat by driving my Hummer into the countryside.
Truly, few things are as enervating for a man as to crash through some ignorant farmer’s fences and carve across his freshly sown spring fields. It’s the sheer wholesomeness of it all, tearing deep tyre-tracks in the fertile soil behind, like a map of my path to righteousness.
Later, while resting beside a small brook and contemplating the sin in others’ lives, I was rudely disturbed by the farmer’s children. The little Hittites ran towards me shouting that they “had my number” and their “Pa will make me pay for all the damage to the crops.”
One of the marks of a GAFCON Bible-believer is that he carries at least one weapon on any journey (Luke 22:36-38), so I was not at their mercy for long. Let me say this; the little vermin won’t ever be telling any tales about this member of the Lord’s Anointed. If only our Church could be equally as firm with all the little ones who darken our doors. Would we not truly be a people feared throughout the nations?
I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.