Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Archbishop Orombi Sets Everything Straight

After being wickedly misquoted by the atheist western media, who published a letter suggesting he is obsessed with homosexuality and believes the west to be source of all evil, Bishop Orombi of Uganda has now made a clarifying statement on a God-fearing Bible-believing web site in which he explains he is actually obsessed with homosexuality and believes the west to be source of all evil.

Even more importantly, Bishop Orombi explains that “When you are known to be the "Gay Church" and a church that can't discipline itself, that severely hinders our ability to engage our communities on such issues as clean water, food, employment, and good governance.”

How right he is! The world is filled with people who would rather die of thirst than risk catching gay cooties from clergy in communion with homosexuals living on the other side of the planet. And hark how succinctly Bishop Orombi summarises his country of Uganda’s tragic history, which several decades ago was a model of justice and integrity, but today – in the wake of Bishop Robinson’s inexcusable installation - has like so much of fundamentalist Africa become a quagmire of corruption and impropriety.

Indeed, rarely a day goes by when some beggar does not crawl to my Rectory doorstep seeking alms, only to run away screaming when they realise the largesse which we are about to bestow upon them is irrevocably tainted by the Communion’s heterosexually challenged members – either that or Consuella’s let the dogs out; but either way there can be no doubt the unfortunate indigent departs understanding all their problems can be directly traced to New Hampshire Episcopalians.

Like Bishop Orombi, we’d love to be more helpful, but can’t because people know we're in Communion with homosexuals. Which has got to be the best excuse since a group of morally unquestionable gentlemen at Nuremburg insisted they were “only following orders”.

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.

3 comments :

Father David Heron said...

As usual, your analysis is correct, Dr Troll.
Uganda was far better under the benign rule of Idi Amin. Similarly, Australia was far better shortly after we British exported all our unwanted criminals there. But now they've all 'reformed', they want nothing to do with us!

Grandmère Mimi said...

Fr Christian, you are, indeed, part of the "gay church", and all largesse that you so bountifully spread about (I won't say exactly where) is indelibly tainted. You'd best keep what you have all to yourself and those close to you, including, of course, the good Consuella.

Cany said...

You know, the guy's a walking puzzle. I seriously have to wonder if he doesn't have a few screws loose (no pun intended).

I also found his post remarkably... well, actually, there is no word for it.