Like most GAFCON clergy, I’m interested in buttocks. Or, as young people say, “asses”. Not a day goes by without my thinking about what I like to believe some people do with them, and how certain I am that God will reward me for not joining in their shameless antics. Although, I hasten to add, my interest is purely theological, and the only physical contact I ever permit myself to have with this part of the human form (to which I’m prepared to admit, at any rate) is that occurring in the process of kicking them.
That’s why I'm so honored to learn I’ve been nominated as a genuine “Kick Ass Blogger” by one of the brightest rising stars in the blogosphere: the fine Leonardo Ricardo, whose blog Eruptions at the Foot of the Volcano is itself the epitome of “Kick Ass”.
Now as is the case with most of these award things, there’s a whole list of rules about nominating others which pose something of a problem for a Bible-teacher like myself. You see, among conservative orthodox commentators it’s not considered acceptable to ever really praise anyone – they’re always “close to the truth but…” or “presenting an interesting perspective which needs to be explored further” Consequently if I were to nominate one of the sidebar’s “Gathered Brethren” for this award it would immediately lower my credibility in their beady little nit-picking eyes. Nor, to be perfectly honest, are any of them deserving of such recognition. It may be appropriate to accompany “ass” with any number of words when speaking of David Virtue, for example, but “kick ass” is probably not an accurate combination in his instance.
So instead I must refrain from awarding those bloggers who most closely seek to emulate me, and will instead award those whose theology is such that, like Nicodemus approaching Our Lord, I am forced to visit in the dark of night:
The rules of the game are here. And just because I’ve let my guard slip and shown where I sneak off to when not hunting down sin and false doctrine, don’t think you should ever forget that…
I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.