Thursday, June 28, 2012

Hell hath no fury...

... like a blackmailing serial-liar ridiculed.

At which point I would like to on the very best of legal advice stress this salient aphorism is utterly bereft of any pertinence to the following comment left several hours ago elsewhere on this site:
"Someone called David Ould has sicked his lawyers onto Dobby, and Dobby has fled. Long live Dobby!"
Once again in response to the very best of legal advice I would also like to categorically claim that I have absolutely no idea of what my correspondent might be talking about. When it comes to accusations of defamation I've always found it fascinating to note how those most eager to defend their reputation are invariably those whose reputation is the least defensible, which renders this whole affair most mysterious indeed.

Nonetheless, as one renowned for the seriousness with he takes his pastoral responsibilities I am, of course and as always, more than happy to discuss this and/or any other matters with those whose hunger for enlightenment leads them to contact me privately.

That said, let me now move on to an entirely unrelated matter of an altogether different nature. It just so happens that a young man rejoicing in the title and name of the Reverend David Ould, who currently serves as a Deacon (or in the quaint ecclesiastical patois compulsory in the Australian Anglican Diocese of Sydney, an "Assistant Minister" - commonly abbreviated to "Ass Minister" for reasons undoubtedly self-evident) at St. Augustines's Anglican Church, Neutral Bay (a.k.a. "Neutral Bay Anglican Church" - a moniker at least half true; an impressive statistic within the context of the sect known elsewhere as "Jensenism") is seeking a new parish.

Even though David Ould hasn't made public his reasons for leaving his current employment, there's bound to be a perfectly good reason as to why his position will be terminated at the end of this year. In fact, I'm sure that if you call him on +612 9953 1830, or +61425 362598, or send an email to david.ould@neutralbayanglican.org.au he'll be only too happy to provide a most entertaining explanation. One which may or may not be entirely dissimilar to any rumors currently spreading fasting than monkeys on ice skates. Although possibly not as funny.

And while there’s hardly any point discussing those reasons here – as the very best of legal advice also made perfectly clear to me – I would none the less like to extend a personal invitation to the members of any parish nomination committee who have courtesy of the Holy Spirit and Google landed here whilst investigating the possibility of David Ould joining their ministry team: you are all more than welcome to contact me to discuss his suitability for the position you have in mind.

Whether you, for example, represent a medium-to-large congregation wishing to downsize by shedding a significant percentage of parishioners; or you are seeking a Minister who considers compulsively Googling his own name as synonymous with “pastoral care”; or you're merely seeking someone not ashamed to do whatever it takes (legal or otherwise) to stop others from laughing at him, I am only to happy to provide a reference outlining the fascinating things I have evidence of little David Ould getting up to – at this point do I need to mention that I have on the very best of legal advice an assurance that truth is a defence against accusations of defamation in both David Ould's jurisdiction and my own?

I’m Father Christian, and I really don’t like Pharisees.

13 comments :

Lapinbizarre said...

Seems Dobby intends to own the internet monopoly on making himself look foolish.

Turnip Ghost said...

And Sadduces? How are you with Philistines? Or Moabites?

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Philistines and Moabites I like: the former have good restaurants, and the latter are always fun when one gets the urge to indulge in a little smiting.
Sadducees, on the other hand, really need to cheer up.

Wade said...

You mean they PAY him? REALLY?

Anonymous said...

Perhaps Dobby could wash the dishes in a Philistine Cafe.

Turnip Ghost said...

What a horrible restaurant chain, Philistine Cafe!

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Indeed - the table manners are horrific! And as for Dobby doing the washing; I fear he'd just put things back on the shelf dirty and then threaten to sue anyone daring to object.

Wade said...

I'm still awfully surprised he found somebody to take a case like that in Singapore on a contingency basis...

Anonymous said...

You really are an over-weight and angry woman.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Is that the Jensenist idea of the ultimate insult?

Brother David said...

I am pretty sure that still would be calling someone a queer, good Padre!

Wade said...

I dare you to stand up and say that Annie.

Anonymous said...

Hey Fr Troll, Anglican Mainstream just posted an article about anti-bullying laws being a hinderance to free speech and there was a quote in the article that may sit well with your post.