Thursday, February 12, 2009

I'll have what Jack's having.

Well, well, well; hot on the heels of the AAC’s attempt at a sequel to Foxe’s Book of Martyrs, comes little ±Jack Iker’s Reflections on the Alexandria Communiqué. Let me tell you, you can call me an Anabaptist if it isn’t the funniest thing I’ve seen since that time over at little Martyn Minns’ house, when Big Pete drank too much and spent all night forcing young Willy Cox to sit on a whoopee cushion.

Yes indeed, one brief perusal is all it takes to get one’s sides splitting; it’s clear that little Jack’s staff don’t call him “The Joker” behind his back because he keeps adjusting his pompatus of love, that’s for sure. Honestly, there are so many gems in the all-too-brief 1 ½ pages that it’s hard to know where to begin; perhaps with ACNA is a missionary movement, but it is not interested in sheep stealing from our Communion Partner friends. Isn’t that just priceless??!! Next he’ll be claiming that he’s never had the slightest interest in stealing the farmhouses either!

Or how about this: …it is not ACNA that is causing the divisions, but TEC.” Or this: “I am all for a ceasefire and reconciliation two sentences before I see no realistic chance of reconciliation. Talk about keeping both sides of the fence covered – one cut & paste and little Jack’s lawyers can have him tag-teaming anyone they want should things come down to a little litigational wrestling.

Then again, this is the character whom a week ago was basking in Viagravillain praises for having told four of the parishes that never bought his nonsense about leaving the Church that they were free rejoin that which they’d never left – although two of them (St. Fort Worth and St. Luke’s Stephenville) would first have to repay him mortgages to which he has no legitimate title. That there appears to actually be six entire parishes not silly enough to have fallen for his lure doesn’t seem to have occurred to any of his cheer squad – perhaps the other two have too many assets to risk letting them slip through one’s fingers.

Or perhaps, like me, everyone’s just laughing so hard that they haven’t yet noticed any of these subtler aspects of the prank. There’s no denying that it’s hard to read the fine print when you eyes are brimming over with tears…

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.

4 comments :

Fr Craig said...

bless you Fr, to find the humor in this tragedy. God knows, if we couldn't laugh, we'd be crying (indeed, are crying).

Cany said...

So much great humor on the Episco/Anglican sites today.

Jack Iker should have been an astronaut since his mind obviously resides in another universe altogether. Either that or a cook since even noodles don't bend like his ideas.

Thanks for the chuckles.

Two Cents said...

My Lord Father. In times such as these when I find myself at a loss for words I need a little help in expressing myself without the use of weapons or explosives. In such times I turn to the following site:
http://ship.saintsimeon.co.uk/curses/index.html
Given to me by a true saint, I trust you will find it useful.

Leonardo Ricardo said...

The really, I mean really, fascinating part is that Iker seems to believe the ignorant nonsense he puts out...or maybe Martyn Minns is writing for him too and trying to blow things up so badly in Ft. Worth that the CANA cult will be called in (to make matters worse). Certainly one would have to have their head tucked UNDER the saddle (when riding) to believe Iker and go along with his silly religiouslike fantasy in frontierland escapades...and then there is Venables...the most slithering character of them all.