Well, well, well; hot on the heels of the AAC’s attempt at a sequel to Foxe’s Book of Martyrs, comes little ±Jack Iker’s Reflections on the Alexandria Communiqué. Let me tell you, you can call me an Anabaptist if it isn’t the funniest thing I’ve seen since that time over at little Martyn Minns’ house, when Big Pete drank too much and spent all night forcing young Willy Cox to sit on a whoopee cushion.
Yes indeed, one brief perusal is all it takes to get one’s sides splitting; it’s clear that little Jack’s staff don’t call him “The Joker” behind his back because he keeps adjusting his pompatus of love, that’s for sure. Honestly, there are so many gems in the all-too-brief 1 ½ pages that it’s hard to know where to begin; perhaps with “ACNA is a missionary movement, but it is not interested in sheep stealing from our Communion Partner friends.” Isn’t that just priceless??!! Next he’ll be claiming that he’s never had the slightest interest in stealing the farmhouses either!
Or how about this: “…it is not ACNA that is causing the divisions, but TEC.” Or this: “I am all for a ceasefire and reconciliation” two sentences before “I see no realistic chance of reconciliation”. Talk about keeping both sides of the fence covered – one cut & paste and little Jack’s lawyers can have him tag-teaming anyone they want should things come down to a little litigational wrestling.
Then again, this is the character whom a week ago was basking in Viagravillain praises for having told four of the parishes that never bought his nonsense about leaving the Church that they were free rejoin that which they’d never left – although two of them (St. Fort Worth and St. Luke’s Stephenville) would first have to repay him mortgages to which he has no legitimate title. That there appears to actually be six entire parishes not silly enough to have fallen for his lure doesn’t seem to have occurred to any of his cheer squad – perhaps the other two have too many assets to risk letting them slip through one’s fingers.
Or perhaps, like me, everyone’s just laughing so hard that they haven’t yet noticed any of these subtler aspects of the prank. There’s no denying that it’s hard to read the fine print when you eyes are brimming over with tears…
I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.