And in the purple corner we have ...

Back in the good old days, before Scripture-denying liberals made it commonplace for women to be prescribed pain relief while giving birth - in blatant contravention of Genesis 3:16 - a popular amusement at county fairs and the like involved placing wild animals in a small cage and watching them tear each other to shreds. Now whilst I utterly abhor cruelty of any kind not involving one’s Curate, it's undeniable that Bishop Quinine has a point when he says the prohibition of such honest folk entertainments is just one more indication of how far society has turned its back upon the old values which engendered the kind of respect for one’s elders reflected in the ducking of grandmothers who dared to voice their opinion, or the pressing of witches.

Consequently I am deeply indebted to the Dearly Beloved Sinner who drew my attention to this marvellous blog post regarding AMiA (the Rwandan border-hopping exercise headed up by little Chuck “I’ll do anything to wear purple” Murphy and his band of merry men) having decided to “walk apart” from Bobby Duncan’s sect, for it shows it’s possible to enjoy all the traditional merriment of watching a sack full of cats fight without a single innocent creature being harmed. About halfway down through the comments (I’ve saved a full copy, so if they get removed – which they probably will – let me know and I’ll repost them here) an anonymous faux-Rwandan really starts the fireworks with a marvellous attack on his Conservative brothers:

“With the GAFCON / FCA initiative and call for a new province, those who had previously found it so hard to abandon ship were ready to set sail on their new yacht. Now with the opportunity to be called Your Grace (he grins every time he is greeted with that title) and to receive a miter and crosier (I have never seen an AMiA bishop so adorned) Duncan FINALLY steps to the fore. However, the group that would constitute the new ACNA was pitifully small and insignificant (without the now decade old and growing AMiA). So, without pride or prejudice the AMiA welcomed the opportunity to help anybody (even those who hate them) support the Anglican Identity promulgated by the Jerusalem Declaration (avoiding the use of the sticky term “orthodox” here).

A year into the new structure, it is very clear to AMiA folks that ACNA is rapidly becoming a cleaned-up Episcopal church. With visions of future committees, Roberts rules, diocesan conventions, and old arguments …”

After a few sharp responses from faithful Duncanites touchingly demonstrating the love felt in return (“There is no way Chuck Murphy will ever accept being anything but The Vicar of Christ in North America. Once there is a "generational change of leadership" (to put things tastefully) theAM will quickly merge with ACNA.”) none other than She-Who-Combs Bobby’s-Wyebrows weighs in. That’s right, Mrs. Psuedo-Primate herself, and let me tell you, Beloved Sinners, hell hath no fury… “I don't mind giving up my husband for the work of the Kingdom but I DO mind reading Crap like this…”

Yet that’s only her beginning:

“ The day the AMia starts doing some church planting is difficult areas will be the day when I cheer you. What about New England? Anyone can plant a church in the South where there is still a church going culture - not so the northeast where they are dying for an orthodox presence. And I don't meann (sic) plant a church 2 blocks away from one already planted an syphon off their people - so your New York City plant doesn't count. No, go into Morris County in New Jersey and try there. Then brag about your expertise and success and I'll be on the front row of congratulations. Right now, be glad I don't know who you are - because you've made me very angry.”

To make her point the comment is then immediately repeated: someone wasn’t being a patient little kingdom wife when she was furiously clicking “Publish Comment”, were they? But it takes more than an enraged Pseudo-Primate’s wife to keep an anonymous faux-Rwandan down:

“I do not know your husband so I can say nothing of his character. My mention of him is as a representative of the party that treats AMiA like a read-headed step child. The bloggers blame Rwanda for the present circumstances…Rwanda was our advocate and hero from the very beginning when no American was willing to lead. AMiA is accused of being power hungry, yet it is not an AMiA bishop that has been elevated at this juncture... … in your angry response (to a nobody on a blog) you, a member of the archbishop’s own household, have betrayed deep resentment and contempt for the AMiA and bishop Murphy personally. Your response provides great clarity to me about what I have witnessed of the persecution of my friends. ”

And so the battle rages on, reminding Consuella of the cockfights which were so popular in her childhood village. Honorable mention must certainly be made of the blog’s owner, a Duncanite who well comprehends the importance of keeping the boss's wife happy: “I am sorry an anonymous commentator offended you here. Obviously they do not speak for me. I think very highly of my archbishop. ”. After which is revealed the best window into the love and mutual respect found behind the scenes of the glorious schism through which you’ve ever peeped:

“… as for "blaming Rwanda" it is merely a statement of fact that the Rwandan House of Bishops in January objected to the set up of AMiA within ACNA. They were the ones who necessitated this change. For whatever reason they want to keep the AM very close to the vest, while the other overseas jurisdictions who have helped us have cheered the formation of ACNA on and helped Archbishop Duncan and our other leaders at every turn in forming the new province.

And as for "treating AMiA like a red-headed stepchild," the entire Constitution and Canons of the ACNA were constructed with AMiA in mind to insure they could continue to function just as they have. Far from being sidelined, AMiA was right at the center of the process, being catered to a great deal. If anything AMiA was treated like the "fair-haired child" of ACNA! ”

Indeed: who needs any blood-sports when we’ve got Orthodox fellowship like this to watch? Fox-hunting, bull-fighting, youth fellowship games nights – the lot of them pale into insignificance when compared with Biblical Christianity’s answer to professional wrestling. And the best part is that the show’s only just begun; just wait until you see how exciting things get when all the ambitious men with a predilection for pointy hats realize that as far as Bobby’s concerned his enthronement was like getting a puppy for Christmas (albeit messier and nowhere near as cute) – for life.

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.