But please don't ever for one moment think Our Righteous Privilege is something to be taken for granted. My less righteous brethren who have thoughtfully bared this breast upon which we are about to sup - and I'm thinking here especially of My Evangelical Admirers, of which there are too many to bother counting once the polls closed - need to be eternally vigilant lest the manna which has been rightfully showered upon their superiors be taken away.
Which is why instead of My planned homily I'm diverting to urge you all to take action immediately! That's right, instead of wasting your time doing something which brings you joy and comfort, like gazing adoringly at My picture, or beating your dachshund while dressing up like James Dobson, I need you all to act.
You see, as I'm sure those of you who can read - even the women - are well aware Our Dear Leader President-Elect-For-Life Donny has just appointed little Stephen Bannon to a permanent White House play-date. Which means the whiskery round white-supremacist, anti-semitic, misogynist alt-right pinup pictured below shall soon not only be clogging the Oval Office plumbing if and when he ever decides to partake of a little facial debridement, but we'll all be paying him for the privilege.
"And why not?" I hear you as christians (albeit very immature and faithless ones) ask. To which I can in My wisdom only reply "Why not indeed!" But we have a problem. Liberals, Homosexualists, Womon who don't know their place, as well as those who foolishly thing Jesus and the Gospels have something to do with Christianity, are threatening to spoil thing for the Klan's Krazy Komrade.
In fact, I know for a fact that people haven't forgotten Zoe Baird and Kimba Wood; Bill Clinton's two AG appointments who were made to withdraw for failing to pay Social Security taxes. And thanks to this memory they're also impertinent enough to assume Banner's fist-class ticket to the racism's big rock candy mountain isn't a done deal.
That's right - they've been organising. (Forgive My using profanity, but when you come to Me you get Bible Teaching straighter than Liberace in a steam-bath.) Quite shamelessly, I've heard people who don't understand the importance of key roles being gratuitously given to bigoted Princes-of-Ugly are:
- Calling all their Representatives and Senators and telling them this is unacceptable.
- Preventing Paul Ryan from feigning ignorance by calling his office at (202) 225-3031 and letting him know that this is not ok.
- Same with Majority Leader McConnell, (202) 224-2541.
- Call out media when they report the Bannon appointment as a straight news story or refer to him as a "Breitbart executive" or a "provocateur," but don't call him what he is: a white supremacist, anti-semite, misogynist.
- Where protests are ongoing, they make this the focus, with signs, chants, etc. Next week they'll focus attention on other things, but for now their focusing like lasers on this one fact.
- Getting so-called religious groups on board along with mainstream business organisations like the Chamber of Commerce (202-659-6000).
- Contacting other people of influence - College presidents, high-profile coaches and anyone else who has a public megaphone.
So, My Beloved Sinners, I'm calling on you to all do the opposite. Call Paul Ryan and tell him your proud he's supporting a supremacist carpetbagger. Thank your representative for getting behind a money-sucking Nazi, and reassure them you'll be letting everyone know of their support. Print pictures of Bannon with Hitler, so nobody can confuse the two. Carry banners of him in a Klan Klown suit, so everyone can see how handsomely it suits him.
In every way possible, let's beat the godless at their own game. I've no doubt Representatives and Senators everywhere will be delighted know you support them - especially those who are female and/or Jewish and call themselves a Republican. (Don't worry - they'll soon be purged just as long as Bannon isn't stopped.)
Meanwhile please nobody try and tell me that Jesus wouldn't have built a wall or picked on people who don't speak American - the language the Bible was written in. Sure he was the Son of God and stuff, but we all know what happened to Him. And he didn't even have a LeerJet!
I'm Father Christian and I teach the Bible.