Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Arise, Dirty George Conger.

Well it took little George Conger less than 24 hours to crumble before the tide of liberal pressure brought on by his courageous move to illustrate the truth concerning lesbianism as every creepy old man, every sweaty-palmed post-adolescent fundamentalist, and every GAFCON-believing homophobe knows it to be. Or at least likes to imagine it to be in those special moments they pray very hard to be delivered from, and even harder that nobody will ever find out about.

That’s right, the hot ‘n’ sweaty picture he posted yesterday at Religious Intelligence has already been replaced by an image of a rainbow flag flying strong in the breeze, which Brother Richthofen and his friends from seminary say is more symbolic than folks at the incongruently named Religious Intelligence will ever understand.

Still, Canon Conger (say that out aloud: does it sound more like a 1940’s dance or a 1960’s brand of cheap bubble-gum?) should rest assured that his innovative masterpiece has been preserved, both as the jpeg here yesterday, and in entirety as a high resolution pdf stored under high-security on the St. Onuphrius’ servers. So there’s absolutely no need for concern that anyone might forget the original; rest assured my dear pseudo-journalist (I know you visit here from time to time, so there’s no need to be shy), we’ll keep the memory of your work alive.

What’s more, to mark this significant new milestone in Conservative Blogging I’ve decided, by the powers vested in me as the self-appointed arbiter of all that is Doctrinally Sound, to bestow upon Canon Conger a new honorific. This shall henceforth be used by all Dearly Beloved Sinners whenever referring to our favorite Orthodox Pornographer, who is to be afforded all the respect a man of his acumen deserves. Truly, truly I say unto you all: no longer shall he be “little” – from this day on the man will be known as Dirty George Conger.

I’m Father Christian, and I teach the Bible.

11 comments :

Revd Ivan Ackeroff said...

Is "Dirty George" related to "Boy George" - a British homosexualist who wears mascara and women's clothes? I think we should be told.

MadPriest said...

Do you think we did the right thing? I mean, now he might not post any more photos from his private collection and I had already cancelled my subscription to the "Barely Legal Lesbians" site because I didn't think I would need it anymore.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

No, I don't think so. Boy George doesn't attempt to hide his light under a bushel.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Sorry my dear MadPriest - your comment came through while I was replying to Rev. Ackeroff.

Still, I don't believe there's any cause for concern. Having brought his collection out from that special file marked "Confidential - Old Sermons" he keeps at the bottom of his desk drawer I'm sure Dirty George won't be able to help himself now. My prediction is that from now on he'll be posting more Tempting Teens than even Charles Raven can dream about.

Lapinbizarre said...

Maybe Conger pulled the original scan for fear that the two models had not yet reached years of discretion? Whether or not they were actually 18 years old when the photograph was taken, seems to me that they were likely selected and dressed by the photographer with a view to suggesting that they are younger. Scan suggestive of adolescent pornography? Responsible choice, Conger.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Yes Lapin, I'd also started wondering about that angle. In the absence of Dirty George providing any proof to the contrary I was contemplating reporting him to the Department of Justice for investigation.

It's nothing he wouldn't do, and goodness knows there's more than enough competition for the Orthodite Donor's dollars. Taking him out of circulation would free up a fortune for ministries like mine.

Mehitabel the Cat said...

Doubly off-topic, but these folks SOOOO badly need to imagine not only that they're "Anglican" but, apparently, that they're also English Aristocrats, that it's pathetic. The unspeakable and the uneatable, for sure.

http://www.standfirminfaith.com/?/sf/page/25011

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Thank you very much for this, my Esteemed Feline - there's no such thing as "off-topic" here, and your contribution is greatly appreciated.

Unless I'm very much mistaken, (and I never am) little Greg Griffith's breakfast of grits and shrimp is about as authentically British as ACNA's claim to be part of the Communion. Like little Bobby himself, he's trying but just not getting it.

Now what was Oscar Wilde's quote about "the unspeakable in pursuit of the uneatable"?

Elizabeth Kaeton said...

The picture was one thing. The headline of his article is quite another.

He really is quite a dirty boy.

Well done, sir. Well done, indeed.

Lapinbizarre said...

Viagran fox-hunting?

Mehitabel the Cat said...

Taking him out of circulation might free up a fortune for ministries like yours, Father Christian, but would it be worth the loss of a blog whose very title oozes such humility and modesty? Conger - The Religious, Political and Cultural journalism of George Conger (the capitalization is Conger's own - seems "journalism" doesn't make the cut). A mountain of conceit, for sure.