1) Abraham: I love a barbecue, and he can always be relied upon to bring at least some sort of meat.
2) Balaam’s Ass: a talking donkey is even more impressive than hiring a jumping castle.
3) Elijah: when he’s around there’s never any problem getting the barbecue alight.
4) Goliath: just in case the young folk start texting each other that there’s a party on at Father Christian’s it’s always prudent to have a bouncer at the door. Besides, it’s not as if he’ll fall a second time for the stone-in-a-slingshot routine.
5) Lot’s Wife: nothing keeps a Doctrinal Warrior’s blood pressure thumpingly high like a little salt on his steak. If only she had a relative who was turned into ketchup…
6) Elisha: how can you not like a man who really knew how to handle teenagers?
7) Bathsheba: I’ve always had a thing about women bathing in public.
8 - 9) David & Jonathan: goodness knows the boys didn’t get invited out as a couple very often, and it’s the least I can do to show them both a little respect.
10) Samson: we’ve got some heavy furniture that needs moving and his help would come in handy.
11) Noah: he and Bishop Quinine have a lot in common.
12 - 15) Rahab, Gomer, Oholah, and her sister Oholibah: it’s my party, and they’re in the Bible. Ok? Besides, my interest in meeting them all is purely academic.
16-18) Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego: just in case the fire gets out of hand.
19) Joshua: perhaps he could be persuaded to march around the Baptist church up the road until it crumbles like the walls of Jericho.
20) Jacob: I’ve never been too sure about what he actually put in his mess of potage, but it’s always sounded like it’d make a great end to a big night, and it's more Scriptural than pizza, kebabs or curry.
I'm Father Christian and I teach the Bible.