The Foundation of Our Faith.

As every Biblical Christian knows, the Thirty-Nine Articles are the foundation of Orthodox Anglicanism. Not only were they personally dictated by God to St. Paul (or perhaps by St. Paul to God: the details aren’t important), but were it not for the Articles Henry VIII would never have been convicted of Rome's drift into schism – an indisputable miracle since the Articles weren’t completed until 28 years after his death.

Just as important when it comes to understanding the XXXIX Articles role in our faith’s history is the fact that Cranmer himself - who only died 15 years before they were finalised - considered them the infallible, definitive, and binding statement of True Anglican Doctrine^®. Consequently it’s vital that every believer, even Dearly Beloved Sinners such as yourselves, becomes intimately acquainted with this part of the Bible which, along with less significant Scriptures such as the Gospels, was crucified so that Our Loving Father might enjoy eternity mercifully torturing those who’ve never read it.

The first key to developing a doctrinally pure understanding the Articles is the realization that they should only ever be referred to in Roman numerals, or by writing their number out in full. Mere numbers (e.g. “39”) are a sure-fire sign of someone having trodden upon the slippery-slope of liberalism on their way to hell-in-a-hand-basket (and every other loving cliché for those whom we caringly brand “revisionists”): if a Bible Teacher isn’t referring to them by their Scriptural Title of “Thirty-Nine” (note the capitals) a believer ought to keep their tithes in their pocket and later send them to an Orthodox Teacher – preferably me.

Of secondary note is the argument advanced by some respected Conservative Theologians that using a hyphen between “Thirty” and “Nine” is optional: far be it from me to cast aspersions concerning weaker brethren on account of their pathetic ignorance in regard to this matter. In the past many fine and otherwise Orthodox believers have also been ensnared by this deception, and it’s hardly appropriate to discount everything else they say because of what false teachers would claim is not an issue of prime soteriological importance.

That said, my own conviction is that God included the hyphen for a reason, and simply because that reason may not be immediately obvious to a few sin-encrusted wolves-in-sheep's clothing is hardly sufficient excuse to disobey His Commands. That something may seem trivial to an unredeemed mind hardly justifies the foolishness of believing we can elevate ourselves above Scripture. Humanity was created to serve the Bible, not the other way around, just as we were also made for the Sabbath (Mark 2:27).

Incidentally, in these apostate liberal days few people are also aware that the Sabbath has always been celebrated on Sunday, despite what a few thousand years of Jewish practice might misleadingly suggest. Which just goes to prove how the early church never changed anything, and interpreted Scripture and Tradition through precisely the same hermeneutic filter that Orthodox Anglicans (particularly those of a Reformed Evangelical persuasion) use today.

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.