Monday, May 24, 2010

When it's quantity, not quality, that matters.

As a result of my faithful and untiring research into the internet’s sinfulness I daily receive an enormous number of unsolicited emails. Naturally I’m too busy to pay them the slightest attention (although I must confess to occasionally wondering if anyone ever really attempts to purchase Viagra in response to spam from somewhere in Rumania or Nigeria), but when the following email came from somebody with the refreshingly Orthodox name of “Lilliputian Savage” (David Virtue's new pseudonym perhaps?) I could not help but take notice:


Naturally I have already requested a sample. Depending on the quality Bishop Quinine intends using them for scientific research, or else as the basis for a new line of budget pet food. I, however, intend to baptise them all as parishioners, which will make me the uncontested star of the Anglican church-growth movement. Not only will I be bigger than Rick Warren, but with those numbers there’ll be a good case for declaring St. Onuphrius’ a Province of its own. After all: if ACNA can use logic like that so can I...

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.

5 comments :

Anonymous said...

A great way to buy a congregation!

Anonymous said...

+Brad wishes you better luck than you had under that lady who stole over 2 million from you and then claimed that "patriarchy" made her feel stressed and abandoned and she wasn't responsible for what she was doing when she ripped you off.
They "deposed" (whatever that means)her husband from his "orders" (whatever that means)and now when he says the Magic Words over the wafers with an x on them, they don't change. You can't tell the difference between these wafers and yours, but I suppose you have your reasons.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Nobody's ever stolen over 2 million from me, my son. Clearly you're delusional again.

Meanwhile you can find a definition of "deposed" here. Then I suggest you meditate upon the definition of this word

Anonymous said...

How about "orders"? Or any way you could tell me how you can distinguish a "validly consecrated" wafer from an "invalidly consecrated" one. Or a "priest" vs. "minister". Or "god" vs. "tooth fairy".

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Or "boring obsessive nit" vs. "pedantic irritating idiot"?