Friday, July 9, 2010

And now for something really offensive...

From time to time people mistakenly accuse me of being “nasty”. I’m not, of course, but rather merely Conservative. And yes, there really is a difference, even if science has yet to detect it. Even so, it can’t be denied that I am indeed wise enough to recognize true nastiness when little Greg, Matt, Sarah & Dobby allow it to surface at (where else?) Viagraville.

Indeed, “nasty” - like “pharisaic”, “stupid”, and “truly, utterly, and obnoxiously evil” – is an expression not to be used lightly. Which is why, My Dearly Beloved Sinners, I feel compelled to further contribute to your spiritual educations by presenting the following definitive example:
”The LGBT “inhabit space in the church” in the same way that sawdust or insect parts or other adulterants inhabit poorly-made sausage. If you don’t notice it you might wonder why you feel a bit ill. If it’s present in enough quantities to be prominent and unavoidable, you’ll be disgusted and might be severely sickened. The right thing to do at that point is to get your stomach pumped.

Similarly, the proper thing to do is purge all LGBT activists (celibate or not) from the councils of the Church…”
Now at this point in time I must admit to not knowing who or where Doug Stein actually is. In fact I’m not even sure what he is, since it’s difficult to believe the DNA of anything this objectionable could be human. Nor, for that matter, from any other carbon based life form. But one way or another Doug (and I know you’ll read this, since your type are addicted to the sanctimonious frisson of outrage which accompanies a visit to my side of the web) I’m going to find out more about you, and the strange rumbling you hear in the distance will be the sound of people in cyber-space. Laughing at you.

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.

19 comments :

Grandmère Mimi said...

Surely a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 as the high point of nastiness.

WV: "cokbratt". I kid you not, Fr C.

LKT said...

I'm feeling a bit ill myself right now.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Move over Delphi - the blogspot word validator is the oracle which knows all, Grandmère ;-)

Anonymous said...

Fr Troll
Are Greg, Matt, Sarah and Dobby actually employed by some right wing evangelicals to pump out this stuff? I suspect they are! They seem to be the masks for those who know that spewing out this stuff could be embarrassing to themselves and the positions they hold.
Ms SolEmnis

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Dobby is at present employed by the Archbishop of Sydney, so we know who's behind his dribbling. As far as I know the rest do it for nothing. which does at least show they've got an accurate understanding of their true worth.

Anonymous said...

You mean an employee of Sydney's Archbishop Jensen is allowed to have something like this on his website? Comments that imply the endorsement of the purging of a minority group ...and he is not reprimanded? I've heard of blogs being shut down for being less offensive, let alone promoting genocide!
And I'm sure Archbishop Jensen is in favour of internet censorship
so what is his stand on genocide?

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Given the caliber of the creatures little Pete Jensen is unashamed to associate with(eg Akinola, Orombi, his brother) it seems safe to assume he'd heartily endorse the poisonous sentiments that one of his Deacons is helping promote.

Fr Hugh Jass said...

I once found a piece of Doug Stein in a sausage I was eating. I threw it to my pet dog who urinated on it.
And they say animals aren't intelligent!

Anonymous said...

I once performed an IQ test on a dog and it performed significantly better than the evangelical I tested the day before.

Leonardo Ricardo said...

rot and decay into heaps of dung that sometimes is shaped into words by the likes of

Dungstein: Rot and decay seeps into a discharge that sometimes pools then spreads into words that causes ignoramous disease amongst incontenent bigots...similar to Dementia, there is no cure and is self-polluting...also known as WV: Slexira

Anonymous said...

I'm wondering if this is the same Douglas Stein of Lake Oswego, OR that signed in support of the Jerusalem Declaration? (http://www.gopetition.us/petitions/in-solidarity-with-the-gafcon-jerusalem-statement/signatures-page23.html) and whether he is a member of St. Matthew's Anglican Church in Portland. Also seems to be a regular contributor (sic) to Midwest Conservative Journal

smithj1@unisa.ac.za said...

Well, if you want a disgusting mixture, the MCJ is a good place to start.

Jane Smith

Anonymous said...

As much as I hate to post this, it is worth nothing that the Madwoman from SC, responded to Dougie's post.


Sister Sara of the Ripped Bodice actually wrote:

Doug Stein, I disagree with this line: “The LGBT “inhabit space in the church” in the same way that sawdust or insect parts or other adulterants inhabit poorly-made sausage.”

People who are gays or lesbians are just like all the other sinners in the church—you or me. We are not sawdust or insect parts or other adulterants. We are made in the image of God, sinners but greatly loved, and God is committed to working within us to transform us.

I don’t believe that sinners are sawdust. I do believe that proudly knowingly unrepentant sinners are sawdust in the church. I do think there is a difference.

Plenty of gays and lesbians are just like me and just like you—struggling and praying and holding on to Jesus and falling and getting back up and asking forgiveness. Others are the ones trying to get the church to bless and acclaim and promote their sin.

Anonymous said...

Anglican bishops can now become nuns-just when you think your religion can't get any stranger, more beyond self-parody, you do.

Anonymous said...

Will Sydney do the nun thing or will they elect for a unisex T shirt and jeans? Probably more like the Taliban thing...men wishing to be nuns will not be permitted to preach infront of their peers and will be banished indoors to attend sewing, cooking and scrapbooking meetings. This could be a blessing!

Anonymous said...

People who hold high profile positions within the church and utilise that position to influence public opinion (by writing in newspapers and lobbying at a political level) are public figures who are under scrutiny. Their opinions deserve critique, especially when what they say (or fail to say) can have devastating effects on the wider community. Satire is a way of offering some form of critique but it is certainly not a means of decreeing what is absolutely right and God's infallible word, as some postings are!

Not WomanWatch but MediaWatch (or is it Big Brother?)

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Jealousy, my dear Watchwoman, had nothing to do with your posts being removed. They were deleted because God told me to.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps Anonymous should have said...Will Sydney do the nun thing or will they elect for a unisex T shirt and jeans? Probably more like the Taliban thing...men wishing to be nuns will not be permitted to preach infront of their peers and will be banished indoors to attend sewing, cooking and scrapbooking meetings. This could be a blessing!
Some find judging widows in nursing homes as nice old ladies and nasty old ladies as offensive. Sometimes it's difficult to smile so an evangelical gets his quota of self righteous behaviour from widows and orphans. Severe physical and emotional pain can get in the way of pleasantries.It seems that women are evaluated by how passive, non threatening and comforting they can be to the evangelist and I thought helping widows and orphans was about service to those in need. However the Ugly Vicar loved the sermon even if Rachel didn't!

Anonymous said...

Fr. Troll,

Are you on vacation? We miss your stirring words and perceptive biblical analysis. Or did you get taken prisoner by Jensen's minions?

Fr. Canon Maxwell Smart++