Thursday, April 22, 2010

Human Rights? No, but they do hate homos.

Of all the world’s nations in which to hold a gathering of Conservative Prelates and their remoras it’s hard to imagine somewhere more appropriate than a country which is effectively a one-party state, where citizens can be indefinitely detained without charge or trial (the record is 32 years), and with the highest per capita execution rate in the world - more than three times as many as the next country on the list, the easy-going and fun-loving folk of Saudi Arabia.

Indeed, the patriots at Viagraville have been literally falling over themselves in a breathless rush to reproduce the latest Singaporean travelogue by a lady named Cheryl M. Weasel from somewhere called www.anglicansunited.com - a perfectly valid name for any religious organization if by “united” one means “people who agree they don’t like people different to themselves”. Which is hardly surprising: how can any red-blooded believer in Biblical inerrancy, schism, and the GOP not get excited by a regime that’s executed more people than all the Bush family combined? And just because Peter Ould claims he’s “post-gay” doesn’t mean he can’t feel a delicious tingle at the thought of a miscreant’s buttocks being thrashed until they resemble cat food. Not to mention that we all know the real reason little Matt Kennedy so heartily endorses James Dobson’s notions of parental "discipline"...

No, my Beloved Sinners, there’s no denying every Anglican Conservative should feel at home in a place that imprisons Jehovah’s Witnesses. No Christian need ever feel concerned about a petty thing like human rights when they can buy cheap electronic doo-dads. Besides, the Singaporean government hates GLBTs as much as anyone in ACNA, so they’ve got to be alright. Although their tax rate is quite high; perhaps that dubious Viagravillain doctor (what’s the funny name by which he calls himself? “Robroy”?) would like to try organizing a few tea-party protests there. Surely Lee Kwan Yew and his sycophants would be only too pleased to make a few Orthodite freedom-fighters welcome?

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible. (Although unlike Johnny Chew I'm not very good at toadying up to dictators.)

PS. I know there’s a lot of clicky-links in today’s homily, but this account of a Singaporean Priest’s journey is a must-read. While not so different to the experiences of many readers, taking time to remember the struggles of our brothers and sisters in the Lion City is a good antidote to the poison currently ejaculatng forth from that place.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Has Nikola and his mates legalised anal and oral sex for married heterosexuals Anglicans?

Bruce said...

"Cheryl M. Weasel" -- ROFLMAO

--Canon Itchy

Fr Hugh Jass said...

Singapore has many attractions besides executing lots of people. Perhaps Big Pete and Mr Jensen may have been drawn to a city famous for its bible-based entertainment scene.
Here is a map to help them get around.
http://www.utopia-asia.com/singbars.htm

Wade said...

All I've seen of Singapore is Changi Aerodrome. It was quite clean...

Brad Evans said...

I think locking up Jehovah's Witnesses is only effective if they're in the same cell as a Mormon and a member of the Nation of Islam.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Great idea! The result would make an exciting reality show/spectator sport.

Brad Evans said...

Add betting as to who becomes whose bitch first and you've got something that could help save Vegas.