“13. Make friends with the religion reporter or whoever your local paper assigns to follow the story. Always answer the phone. Always call back. Always have something to say both on the record and off. Always speak well of your opponents. Never say “no comment”. Never refuse to answer your phone. Never let them hear you whine, complain or attack the diocese. Let the diocesan press stooge play the role of the offended, entitled, bitter, angry, and intolerant authority figure. And trust me, he/she will. .”As Bishop Clumber already wisely advised back in the comments to Point 2, only let the world see the real you on “... a website where everyone is basically whining, complaining and attacking the church which gave you the authority to be a pastor! That way it will be lost among the noise.”
Everywhere else you should be as genuine and sincere as a lap-dancer working a room full of Shriners.