Sunday, August 8, 2010

Lessons Matt Kennedy Learned When Attempting Theft - #12

12. Blogging also inevitably opens the door for much needed spiritual and material support from sympathetic readers locally and around the world. Let your congregation know about any kind of support you receive. You will be surprised at the boost in morale such news produces.
What’s more the internet is full of suckers who’d just love to throw a few hard-earneds into the bottomless pit of your self-induced sob story. However there’s no point of becoming a martyr if you’re not surrounded by weeping admirers, so make certain to delete and ban any commenter not displaying the requisite morale-boosting sycophancy.

13 comments :

Anonymous said...

Matt may pull himself out of the doldrums by reading this.

Fr Hugh Jass said...

As I am not allowed to post my conservative theology at STAND FIRM, may I use your esteemed site, Father, to send Mr Kennedy my good wishes for his speedy recovery. I know he reads your wise words avidly every day. Perhaps this site may help http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/otherconditions/paranoia

Anonymous said...

But the Left and Middle as Well do this.
There is no god..

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Yes Brad, but there is a God.

Anonymous said...

And you know this...how?

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Because I am vastly more intelligent than you are, and because God likes more.

(Sometimes, Brad, you just make it too easy ;-)

Anonymous said...

Rev Dr Christian Troll
Happy clappy songs can often be mistaken as dischord.

Anonymous said...

Yes but some music heralds the divine.

Anonymous said...

God likes what more?
God likes more what?
And that was an intellectually satisfying answer?

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

God likes ME more. Than you. Which is why, among other things, I'm vastly more handsome than you.

If my goal was to satisfy you intellectually (or any other way) I'd be posting pictures of monster trucks.

Anonymous said...

How do you know this?
Doesn't the one in the air like everyone equally?

Anonymous said...

Isn't that why he created tapeworms, nematodes, cockroaches and syphilis? To show how much he loves us? And HIV?
Talk about generous!

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

You won't hear any liberal nonsense about equality here on my blog, little Brad my son. It's obviously a socialist deception, since God clearly created me righteous, wise, and inordinately good-looking, while blessing you with the personality and insight of cave moss.

As for God giving you tapeworms, syphilis and HIV etc. - whilst I can't help but admire your liturgical creativity, it might be a good idea to incorporate protection into your "services". And are you sure it's God, and not just that strange fellow-inmate of yours who thnks he's a garbage disposal unit?