God’s with Iker all the way,
He’ll keep the queers and women away!
It seems like just yesterday that we all were all gathered at Stand Firm round the macho-fire (on account of Melanie, Dobby and Matt’s insecurities nothing over there can be called camp, not even the fire) chanting this inspiring ditty. Yet today finds my dear little Viagravillains speechless with grief at Judge John Chupp’s astonishing ruling that theft is wrong.
Mind you, it’s not all bad news. Firstly, there’ll almost certainly be an appeal lodged, so my Beloved Sinners can all stop worrying the poor ACNA lawyers might be compelled to remove their snouts from the trough and seek more legitimate means of making the repayments on their Porches.
Secondly, and even more promisingly, Judge Chupp did agree with general principle of Layman Jack Iker’s 1994 affidavit. So it’s not as if he’s entirely opposed to everything our favorite Texan schismatic says. Although since that general principle involved Happy Jack insisting the Episcopal Church is by definition hierarchical it’d probably be better to not place too much hope in the possibility of this beautiful connection developing into something more substantial.
All of which means that while those of you who got “God Won’t Let +Iker Lose” tattoos don’t need to immediately start tracking down a good dermatologist who’s handy with the laser, it’s probably not a bad idea to start asking around. And if you’re a clergyman in Fort Worth who followed his boss into Bobby Duncan’s cult it would be wiser to get it done now, while you’ve still got a parish that can afford your stipend because it isn’t forced to sink every cent into renting meeting halls from the local Seventh Day Adventists. Remember: tattoo removal is never cheap, and getting it done now will give the scar time to fade. So you won’t feel anywhere nearly as silly when it’s finally time for you to come back into the Church which you promised God you’d serve.
I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.