Despite their being wicked godless heathen foreigners, I’ve always considered the Burmese Government a decidedly GAFCON group of gentlemen. One of my great disappointments with respect to the recent Presidential election is how the United States’ program to emulate Burma’s admirable stance on security and the right to imprison liberals indefinitely – or better still just shoot them like baby moose - is now likely to be put on hold.
The recent news that Burmese officials have imprisoned a blogger for twenty years after finding him guilty of, among other things, "creating public alarm", shows that when it comes to getting tough on the kind of scum who try to clog the internet with something more than just titties and that funny clip of the monkey drinking his own pee, the Burmese government is setting an example for us all.
Another evil lad was also sentenced for publishing a poem in a weekly magazine called “Love Journal” (no prizes for imagining what filth you can expect to find in anything by that name) in which the first words of each line spelled out the message "Senior General Than Shwe is foolish with power".
Pictured here, it’s obvious that there’s nothing at all foolish about the Senior General, and I’m sure every one of those medals was awarded for an act of bravery which really did happen. Including the big one on his lower right, which is for saving the earth from an invasion of Kryptonites from the planet Xemu. Nor is it relevant to explain that “Than Shwe” is actually Burmese for “I am deeply insecure about the size of my penis.”
Let us pray that one day we too might see this sort of “justice” dished out on those who deserve it: can you imagine a world where little David Virtue can gaol* anyone who disagrees with him? That’s the kind of place Burma is - although unlike him the Burmese realise they’re not actually Christians.
I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.
* I understand that as Sinners many of you will be puzzled by my spelling, but because I’m a Christian I will always be proud of my Biblical heritage, and there are some things I refuse to compromise.