Monday, November 3, 2008

Not long to go now...

We’re now only looking at a matter of hours until Alaska’s sweetest hair-do and its life-support system become the new Vice President. Not only is Mac back, but he’s come with pickles and a side order of fries and I for one haven’t felt this excited since Richard Nixon gave the world a new understanding of “honesty”. Have you sinners any idea of how cheaply I’m going to be able to pick up real estate once the Republicans really get started on the economy?

Anyone not yet comprehending just how great a leader Sarah Palin will be should do no further than study this marvellous window into America’s future:



The first half is just some know-it-all waffling on about domestic violence, human rights and justice, which is to be expected from a Liberal news-source like CBS, but then comes our favourite Power-Dresser-for-Jesus, speaking with all the understanding and insight of a GAFCON leader with an honorary doctorate in selling patent medicine.

Please my dear Sinners, as you vote remember this clip and ask yourselves: “Could even Jesus Himself have stayed on message this closely?” After all, who do the American people think they are if they believe they deserve a straight answer to anything?

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.

11 comments :

Two Cents said...

I've heard sermons like that. Its the olde, "keep saying words of increasing randomness until everyone, including you, forgets what the hell you were talking about," trick. It is an ancient art form which requires decades of dedicated and disciplined practise to master. True masters, it is said, actually grow an extra brain lobe and have the ability to mouth some words while pronouncing others and simultaneously carry on distinct conversations from both sides of their mouth . Remarkable.

Anonymous said...

Governor Sarah who is Biblical both in name and all that she contemplates and interprets is so profound...I´m absolutely captivated by her ever-easy-style when figgering stuff out...I can follow her so closely because I´ve also struggled with making clear statements, both good and often exceptionally intriguing, based on the commonest of sense. Seeing eye to eye with a toothy person like she is quite a stablizing influence in our culture that has go askew.

Thank you for providing reassurance to America.

Smitty Dofelder
Bergerpond

Fred Schwartz said...

I have always known that if one cannot convince them with facts confuse them with bull stuff.
(did not want to offend Fr. Christian's sensitive ears)

David |Dah • veed| said...

Fred, bulls actually produce different kinds of stuff; three come to mind quickly. What do you really mean. You are always beating around the bush by playing coy and being vague and evasive.

Are you a closet Republican?

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

No Fred, I appreciate your politeness and gentlemanly language. Nothing gives me the shits like inappropriate and gratuitous references to bull semen.

Cany said...

You get a Nobel Peace Prize nomination for this post largely because of this absolutely bestest, truest, most colorfulest and certainly most humorestest... line:

"We’re now only looking at a matter of hours until Alaska’s sweetest hair-do and its life-support system..."

I literally spit out my coffee (with Bailey's) reading that.

That, Dear Sir, is the finest description of Palin I have EVER read.

Father David Heron said...

On this side of the Atlantic we once had a mad woman with lacquered hair ruling (and ruining) our country - Margaret Thatcher, who was in love with Ronald Reagan. Today, we pray that another illiberal geriatric assumes power with someone as gloriously demented as the Alaskan hair-do.

Boaz said...

Gee I hope Palin wins! I want more of this woman. I haven't laughed so much as over the past few months and can we really afford to do without humour in such a dark world?

She knows her Amercian history. She knows her states and she wants to leave it up to the states... especially when it comes to things like Roe versus Wade and I think that...um...well...um...she is the wind beneath my wings!

"We could just talk, or not talk, and...still have things to...not talk about."

Fred Schwartz said...

Fr. Christian,
My grandfather grew up with Richard Nixon and acted in many a community theater with Mr. Nixon. My grandfather would wax philosophical for hours on Mr. RMN -- trust me when I tell you that his lady is no Richard Nixon.

Doorman-Priest said...

Every word English and still a foreign language.

Grandmère Mimi said...

Could it be, I wondered, that the Divine Sarah does not know the name of one other Supreme Court decision but Roe v. Wade? Of course, not! I rapped my self quickly on the knuckles and moved away from such a horrid and unfair thought.