Regardless of where you might care to travel in Christendom, it’s a well known fact that Father Christian Troll never gets angry with anyone. Yet it’s been just over 24 hours since I returned to a place where rodents are not considered an acceptable source of protein, and I’m furious!
The cause of this anger is none other than the Dauphin of Viagraville, young Matt Kennedy from wherever it is he lives now that the wicked secular legal system unjustly prevented him from stealing diocesan property. Certainly, as a liberal (he actually permits women to teach in such blatant contravention of little layman Schofield’s reading of 1 Timothy 2:12 that there’ll be tears before bedtime if news of that piece of cultural exegesis ever reaches California, just you mark my words) I know young Matt lacks any real respect for Scripture, but his latest about-face genuinely brings tears to an old doctrinal warrior’s eyes.
The details are so disgraceful I almost hesitate to dwell upon them: after attacking the ACI (Anglican Communion Institute Inc. – you are forgiven if you also initially confused them with the American Concrete Institue, an organisation not dissimilar in that they're both interested in a dense, inflexible and ugly substance, except that the latter have a proud history, perform a valuable public service, and are renowned for their professional integrity) little Matt then performed a complete about face, publishing a truly sickening apology.
Now I’m not going to reproduce the original attack, since GAFCON readers don’t need to be exposed to that sort of language, but the recantation can be found here; but please consider yourself warned before clicking on the link – it’s hardly edifying.
That’s undoubtedly because despite a massive six years (or are we up to seven yet?) ministry experience, the boy clearly has clearly never read St. James exhortations against double-mindedness. Perhaps they don’t care about such things any more in Viagraville, but the Scriptures make it perfectly clear that if one is going to take a stand against unrighteous wishy-washy behaviour it’s no good to then flip-flop around apologizing to any of the eggs broken in the course of preparing one’s omelet. After all, I thought the place was called Stand Firm - not Back Down. If one is going to kick a fellow Christian there’s absolutely no sense in being half-hearted about it: put the boot in and do it properly I always say – and you can take it from me that both Big Pete Akinola and Little Pete Jensen didn’t get where they are today by doing things any other way.
The only redeeming aspect of our favorite pseudo-calvinist’s sniveling backtrack is that despite rambling on for a shameful six lines, the word “sorry” never makes an appearance. We’re told “It was untrue and I was wrong”, and that he indulged in “hasty and harsh words” and “critical misjudgment” – but in the end little Matt Kennedy never manages to actually consider the feelings of those whom he’s slammed – regardless of the fact that those he attacks have in the past been outspoken in their support for Matt's novel approach to that part of his ordination vows which involved pledging loyalty and obedience. No, in the end his double-minded apology his all about himself. Which just goes to show the lad just might have what it takes to be a true Gafconeer after all.
I’m Father Christian and I teach the bible.