Friday, March 27, 2009

Oh the pain, Colorado.

Try as I might, I’m still having problems coping with the court's appalling decision in Colorado. Certainly, common sense suggested “Honest Don” Armstrong would receive a thrashing, but in times like this one wouldn’t be the world’s most Christian reasserter if that special blend of hope and blind arrogance for which us Gafconeers are famous have didn’t lead one to sometimes think with the heart instead of the head. (Which may also be why during my last ECG the needle started recording inspirational passages from Leviticus and Judges, instead of just doing it’s usual little up-and-down scribbling.)

Normally in times of darkness like this I turn to Viagraville for a little light relief, but sadly they’re obviously unable to comprehend the enormity of this blow, and have tried to sweep the whole thing out of mind by dealing with it just one mention . Pay special attention to the comments thread beneath: in a charming attempt to dry everyone’s tears they open with a tasteful innuendo concerning the Judge’s apparently Jewish name. Naturally the heart-broken regulars don’t appreciate this being described as an “anti-Semitic remark": were the comment made anywhere else, or concern little Matt Kennedy’s personal life it would quite rightly be lambasted as “classy” (see here and here, but since the snide remark referred to something other than schismatic Christianity’s spiritual core there’s hardly a problem. After all, the kind of nastiness that culminated in 6 million people being killed is hardly worth worrying about when schismatic pseudo-Anglicans are being prevented from stealing whatever takes their sanctimonious fancy.

Fortunately I was soon cheered by Honest Don’s “Assisting Clergy” and whipping boy; little Alan R. Crippen II. Speaking in Episcopal Life Online, the man who likes to be known as the personification of Effective Stewardship really showed how Christians should respond when confronted by difficult questions. When asked about the minor detail of his boss having pocketed over $390,000 of his congregation’s money (and having kept around half a million more secret from the I.R.S.) “Mr. Stewardship” replied that Armstrong “'is a priest in good standing in CANA' and added that he did not know any details about ongoing investigations.”

With eldership that responsible it’s clear that the new North American not-relly-a-province’s future is in the very best of hands. Jesus might side with the apostates, but Darwinian theories proving only the fittest surviving make it clear who’s going to be here a century from now. As an expert in such matters I can tell you that’s as scientifically certain as the relationship between the platypus and the octopus.

I’m Father Christian and I teach the bible.

8 comments :

Fred Schwartz said...

Good Father,

I took a walk "on the wild side" and read the "Stand and Not Deliver" web posting on this case. I believe we are all in trouble, if Darwinism is at work.

The postings on that site have become positively astounding! There is no pretense nor is there any desire to be loving, caring or Christian. This will sound odd but the closest thing to a "charitable remark" came from YBIC.

For confession to work one must first be repentant. I do not say this very often but some of those folks need a little repentance. (I know we all do but cheese and crackers, harsh words do not even begin to describe what goes on there. They have gone from ornery to rabid to sick.

Fr Craig said...

Fr C - you are obviously forgetting that when one is fighting for the Light of Christ, the True Gospel, The Faith Once Delivered the Saints - all of those petty secular rules and regulations are of absolutely no account! We must surely presume that Fr. Don had the mission of the true North American (and African) Really Truly Anglican Church in mind for the use of those (actually rather paltry amounts) funds. Really, the patent distrust and malicious accusations are appalling! And, Poor Fr. D, has to move out of that palatial rectory!! He's been punished enough!!

Cany said...

You know people are in trouble when theft becomes a hallmark of Christianity as it has over ---> there at you know where.

It has been clear for a while that those that support the revisionists (them, not us) don't give a fig about secular laws. No surprise there.

That said, I remain curious about which other laws they feel are okay to avoid.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

I remain curious about which other laws they feel are okay to avoid.

Absolutely any they feel like, my dear Cany. Particularly that one about loving your neighbor, especially if your neighbor is a primate in New Hampshire.

David |Dah • veed| said...

Forgive me Father, but there are no primates of any kind in New Hampshire. There is a prelate or two.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Quite right my dear lad: I'd dictated "head monkey", but Evangelical Eric transliterated incorrectly. Or that's what he'll tell you if you ask and he'd like to keep his job...

Joan said...

Bless you Good Father! It has been a long journey for many of us in Colorado Springs. The journey is not over yet. The criminal case against Don is still pending.

susan s. said...

I'd dictated "head monkey"...

Oh, Father Christian, you are such a caution!