The second point...

The second interesting point in response to my recent homily discussing little Benny XXX and the funny things he gets away with telling people in the schismatic “church” he works for was raised by another young Priest, who put opined that since a great many Gay people are attracted to the Anglican and RC Churches; "Would it not be sensible to close down these organisations? That way, gay people would disappear along with AIDS and we could all obey Holy Benny's teaching."

Now I can quite understand that on face value there’s a certain appeal to this argument: when not threatening to swim the Tiber faithful Anglicans have been trying to close down the Roman schism for centuries. Equally, when not claiming that they alone represent the true Anglican church, most Gafconeers are resolute in their determination to see Anglicanism transmogrified into a genus of Brethrens that permit heterosexuals to wear frills and funny hats when not in Sydney, and to look like lawyers and merchant bankers when they are. And which pretends to believe Nigeria represents a moral template for the rest of world, and can say as much without bursting out in laughter.

Yet despite all the glorious hot air nobody’s even come close to succeeding in shutting down anyone. I’ve got to agree that the thought of giving the false teachers of Rome a good thumping prior to Our Lord lovingly casting them into the Lake of Fire is indeed a pleasurable one, but at the same time one has to admit that if we finally won our battle against Rome dear old Father McCracken from St. Catamite’s down the road would also be out of a job, and if that happened where else could I go on Monday nights for a pleasant evening’s socialising now that I’ve been kicked out the Freemasons?

More’s the point, I very much doubt anyone could ever really obey Benny’s teaching: Fr. McC’s told me a thing or two about life in the Vatican, and let me tell you – Nashotah House has got nothing on those cheeky lads! They may look as pure as the chaps at Oak Hill from the outside, but you don’t have to scratch their itch too deeply to discover that deep down they’re as wild as… well, as wild as the chaps at Oak Hill. Our Lady of Walsingham isn’t the only place in Great Britain that knows how to party, if you follow my meaning.

Besides, the moment everyone really does stop doing what comes naturally (which I predict will occur at precisely the same time King Canute finally gets the tides to obey his commands) you can bet your bottom rosary the rules will be changed, and the new sin-du-jour will be having knobbly-knees, or liking anchovies. Much better we stick with simply claiming to hate each other, and rattling our sabres when we think anyone’s watching. That way the wicked apostate Anglicans can continue welcoming anyone who’s found the confidence to be the person God created them, while everyone else can continue trying to cover up our own insecurities by picking on people less powerful than ourselves, and nobody need run the risk of losing more than 10% of their congregation. Hey; you can’t say that strategy hasn’t worked for David Virtue. So far…

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.