Little Pete Jensen - Just What Ireland Needs.

It there’s one country on earth that could benefit from a little religious vitriol, it’s Ireland. From the liberal Tractarian Ian Paisley, who has spent decades working closely with a group of shape-shifting Jesuits for global Roman domination, to the Battle of the Boyne in 1690; Ireland is unquestionably a country that’s shamefully failed to step up to the mark when the call has been made for Christians to participate in a little good old sectarian violence.

Thankfully little Peter Jensen has decided to do something about this, and has been addressing crowds (well about 300 – so not as many as drop by here on a slow day, but these days numbers like that are pretty good for most Gafconeers – and that’s a whole lot more than he can drag out of bed on a Sunday morning in his own diocese) in the heartland of global Christian tolerance: Ulster.

After all, in a place where Romans and Protestants have been so close for centuries, what better way of getting Christians to participate in a little intra-faith hatred than by stirring up Anglicans to start fighting each other. And who can think of a place that needs schism more than Northern Ireland? Certainly not little Pete, that’s for sure.

Naturally he begun his talk by explaining the current division in the Anglican communion has nothing to do with homosexuality, but is instead actually all about respect for the Scriptures, after which he explained the enthronement of +Gene Robinson was the greatest evil to have ever occurred in the history of Christianity before speaking at length about different aspects of sex: in particular a film with which he currently seems a little obsessed, featuring something about a woman with 30 sexual partners.

Now I’ve told little Pete before that Gang Bang Babe probably isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but he really isn't much good at understanding there’s a time and a place for everything: in his case the place is on the other side of the world, where there must surely be someone left unconverted in the little patch of ground with which Our Lord has entrusted him, although given it’s just about winter in Australia, while Ireland is so indescribably beautiful in the spring it’s hard to fault his timing. Now if only he’ll take my advice while he’s there, and spend some time explaining the evils of Roman Catholicism to a few gentlemen from this organization - I’m sure they’ll be delighted to hear his bile, and with any luck their response could be quite explosive.

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.