Friday, April 17, 2009

Arizona Border Patrol Reasserts Reformed Tradition!

Back in the days when the inerrant Reformers were showing the world how real Bible-believers should treat Anabaptists, Christians didn’t need to worry about Paramilitary Policemen with small penises neglecting to enforce Reformed prohibitions against Baptists.

Sadly today that’s no longer the case, and you don’t need to be little Matt Kennedy to see where this moral languor has left society. Yet the video below, which I discovered at the notorious Blazing Indescretions, has filled me with new hope for America’s future. With Arizona Border Patrol Officers rediscovering their theocratic responsibility to treat heretics the same way they’ve been treating foreigners, poor people, and alternative types for years, little David Virtue’s utopia can only be just around the corner.


Now if only someone could tell me why I inexplicably keep thinking of Martin Niemöller

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.


Anonymous said...

This dimwit has just encountered a taste, a small taste, of what it has been like for people of color and LGBT citizens when dealing with the ¨authorities¨. Sorry, your so offended, buddy, I´m afraid you haven´t seen time maybe they´ll tie you to a cactus or just shove one up your ...!

Just a tip.

Call them ¨Officer¨ and don´t give them any of your ¨lip¨ the trunkee and COOPERATE (you defiant ¨entitled¨ little creep)!

Alice Grumbacher

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Come now Alice - you're not suggesting he should have responded in the same way that more than half the population learned to do centuries ago?

I particularly enjoyed his surprise that the officers found nothing - I can't imagine they'd have "looked more closely" were his skin or sexuality a different hue, would they?

Anonymous said...

Dear Dr. Troll,

The ¨part¨ that annoys me most about Mr. ¨rights¨ is that he is the same, the very same person who expects, and probably demands, closer scrutiny by the BORDER doubt, Rev. 4th Amendment believes illegal aliens, especially Roman Catholic ones, ought be deported tomorrow (and seperated from their children if necessary)...afterall, Revered Brokenbrow, KNOWS what´s right and what´s not. No wonder he´s indignant, the ¨woman¨ suggested that HE PLEAD NOT GUILTY!

OF COURSE HE´S NOT GUILTY! You saw him, he made THAT CLEAR from the beginning!

Just a thought.

Alice Grumbacher

Robert said...

Whatever happened to Paul's admonition to obey the government because it is from God? I guess that only applies to Baptists when Republicans are in power.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Quite right Alice, which must explain why I keep thinking of Pastor Niemöller: first they came for the Queers, then the Blacks, Hispanics and Liberals. Finally they came for the Southern Baptists, but by then there was nobody left to protest...

Incidentally, I'm not sure how he can plead not guilty now, since won't that be following a woman's teaching and hence clearly against Southern Baptist scriptures?

David G. said...

He's kinda HOT,..I'd know how to treat him!!

The TEC way!!

Of Course!!


The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

I'm sure he'd love every moment of it, David my dear boy. Although it'd probably be better to wait with the handcuffs until he felt a bit less traumatized by recent events.

Wade said...

I'm dismayed by your apparent lack of Christian charity Father, the poor lad is obviously in need of help, both physical and spiritual. I'd suggest you invite him to Ichabod Springs and let Brother Richthofen nurse him back to robust health.

I'm sure you could find the time, and Lord knows you have the ability, to enlighten and convert this unfortunate Baptist heretic and form him into a proper Episcopalian, thereby saving his immortal soul. Perhaps you could ask the good Brother to watch the video and spend a bit of time discerning whether this might be the wisest course of action.

I'm sure that when the day comes that Evangelical Eric has worn out, this promising little fellow would become quite useful.

David G. said...

Oh Yes Dear Father, .Oh yes!!

David G. said...

You Promised,..Father,..Yes U did!!

HE'S MINE you said so yourself!!

Mine, mine, mine!!!as opposed to Marquette Mines...Iron Ore or Copper,..but Copper is worth BUCKS NOW!!

Those Detroit Junkie scrapper's freakin' out on Meth then trying to drive to Marquette ....LMFAO!!!


Raspberry Rabbit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Raspberry Rabbit said...

Dr Troll

It's your customary sense of balance which causes me to retreat daily from the chaotic world and onto your webpage to hear Truth of the sort wot was delivered to the saints of old.

That the website "blazing indiscretions" also includes references to 911 being an 'inside job' makes me feel all cold and clammy, tho. Inside jobs are best reserved for Rectory employees who risk being nabbed by the Immigration authorities or for curates who've been 'misunderstood' and still have warrants outstanding.

Anonymous said...

Yes, perhaps the Arizona Department of Public Safety ought hire David G...Highway Patrol officer David is certain to get that trunk open FAST! No need to use crude brute force when a flash of a desireous smile will induce complete sense feeling abused with Officer Dave ¨doing¨ the interview.

Golly, I can see it.

Mildred Fleischaker