Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Wabukala Wobbles Already.

It hasn’t been a week since the new Khedive of Kenya, the Rt. Rev. Eliud Wabukala, successfully lobbied for the giddy right to call himself Primate-elect, yet he’s already proven to be not a patch on his predecessor, and I refuse to make any secret of the fact that I’m appalled and disgusted.

In today’s Daily Nation the man baldly states “Kenya is hopeless” - shamefully ignoring the fact that the Kenyan Church is actually blessed with one of the most experienced (are we up to 7 years yet?) ministers the world has ever known: little Matt Kennedy. How can any place be hopeless with talent of this calibre – not to mention the little Billies Murdoch and Artwood (they still haven’t fixed the spelling, and Cany is right: Artwood does sound kind of porno – which is probably why he's wanted them to leave it). And that list doesn’t even begin to mention the lovely Hostillium, whom I believe is also a faux-Kenyan; although as the one who appears to do all the work around the parish and rectory she probably can’t really be considered a conservative “leader”.

Not only is the possible new-boy on the Primates Council (quite wisely they seem to have refrained from making any pronouncements until everyone has got whatever it is they need in their piously sweaty little palms) guilty of ignoring the most important Christians in his diocese, but he’s gone on to do the unthinkable for an African GAFCON Bishop: he’s actually made an official pronouncement about an issue in his own country before telling off everyone else in the world. This crass break in protocol is not only deeply offensive, it also included what Wabukala’s history suggests is an utterly unachievable boast, for he continued by claiming “as a church we have the responsibility to preach hope and sanity”.

Then again, to be fair, he didn’t say he was going to do any of those things, only that his church ought to, so he has left himself plenty of wriggle-room. Which you’d better believe he’s going to use.

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.

14 comments :

+clumber said...

And imagine adding to Hostilium's list of responsibilities the daily visitation to her orange jump suited husband at his new home when they find that he has not acted properly with the monies before they departed for Kenya. Now that he has a full seven years under his belt, one would have thought he would understand the importance of at least appearing honest! Oh well, I'm sure with that baby face he'll make friends in his new home quite quickly!

Fred Schwartz said...

I'll just bet that evangelical Eric really LOVES the Wiggle Room!

Anonymous said...

Speaking of Hostilium, check out this entry on her blog.

Perhaps it provides some clues into Matt's bizarre preoccupation with hot man-on-man action.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

"The facility uses double celling..." and "The use of double bunking..."Thank you for the links, +Clumber and Anon: looking at the Broome County prison site suggests little Matt will have plenty of opportunity to see if Hostillium's song really does work. I hope she's Barbie enough to work the same transformation as Luca's.

MadPriest said...

We have a wriggle room in our church. Next to the unisex bathroom.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Is that where you all practise your liturgical dancing?

Grandmère Mimi said...

On his part, Bishop Gogo rebuked political leaders for washing their dirty linen in the public. He urged them to embrace dialogue to save their image.

Fr Christian, surely you agree with Bishop Gogo (or is he the same person as Bishop Kogo?) on the importance of saving image. Your image is vital to your ministry, unless I read you very wrong. I don't see you washing your dirty linen in public.

Cany said...

Whichever, Grandmere... but I like Gogo personally.

Hope he knows the jerk and twist. What's a Gogo without that sort of talent?

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Good point, Grandmére, although I normally insist they be referred to as my bigs as a mark of respect. And, if truth be told, I do occasionally wash them in public, but only when ladies from the local Baptist Women's Fellowship are passing - I find the effect rather enjoyable.

Anonymous said...

Wobbly Wabukala is not called that for nothing. An exercise in compare and contrast:

This:

"When the Rt. Rev. Dr. Eliud Wabukala, from Bungoma in Western Kenya, was asked why he was going to GAFCON, but not to the Lambeth Conference in July, he told a congregation of Kenyans in his diocese that you don’t go to a place where men marry men...The bishop said it was a “hard agonizing decision to make choosing not to go to Lambeth...We cannot go there (Lambeth)...""http://www.thinkinganglicans.org.uk/archives/003040.html

With this:

"One of the six Kenyan bishops who attended the Lambeth Conference, as well as the Global Anglican Future Conference (GAFCON) in Jerusalem last year, has been elected Archbishop of Kenya...He is Dr Eliud Wabukala."http://www.churchtimes.co.uk/content.asp?id=74524

Did you see the wobble? Read again; it's so subtle you may have missed it...

Canon Itchy said...

"Over at a certain place that most of us follow like crack whores....." O my! I almost spilled the martini reading that one. My new Google Chrome web browser automatically lists my most used sites and Viagraville is in the top nine. How embarrassing. Even the youngsters have made fun of me for it. But I will admit to doubling my attention recently since it's the best score card for Northern Michigan's consents. Perhaps a day will come when GAFCON will return to its rightful place and all will be well in Google land. Have a great week-end; hope the sheep don't "bah" too much.

Anonymous said...

See my response to your other blog posted today about time I spent with Bishop Eliud. Shame on you. You can't see the love of Christ when it's in front of your face. Shame on you. If you had ever shown 1% of the love to real people right on the front line that Eluid has shown to his people you would not be so bitter and twised. Hang your heads in shame nd beg, plead, for forgiveness.

MadPriest said...

"plead for forgiveness."

Well, it must be nice to be given permission, Father C.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

My dear Anonymous, having already answered your concerns you now expect me to pay you attention on a second instane? I suggest Ritalin might help you be a little more focused, and less desperate for attention?

As for your percentages - what about the 10% of people your backflipping idol deems unable to ever recieve God's blessing upon their relationships, identity, and sexuality? Or are the "real people" of whom you speak only found in a country far from your own doorstep?