Thursday, September 17, 2009

Has Bobby Duncan Got Wood Yet?

The actual count escapes me (although I’m sure someone in ACNA could work it out if they removed their shoes and socks), but little Rev. Wood and his gang at St. Andrew’s Mt. Pleasant must be more than halfway through their 40 days of discernment process. This is a trade-marked program (so it's certain someone is making a penny out of it), in which the clergy of a parish seek to determine whether or not God understands that they were “just kiddin’” when they took their vows of ordination, and the congregation decides whether or not “Thou shalt not steal” applies to church property.

Now I’m sure this whole 40 days business is a marvelous excuse to drag people away from their homes and family for at least one extra evening a week, and into a church meeting where of course the Holy Spirit calls for an offering to be collected. Still, there’s something sad in seeing that any church – even one like St. Andrew’s, where folks are very proud of their “dynamic contemporary worship” (which is happy-clappyese for screaming like banshees while slobbering like walruses during the Sunday morning service) – needs to bother with all this pretense.

No, in a truly Biblical church like mine the Rector says something and it happens. Never mind this dilly-dallying around in an attempt to create some sort of justifying veneer: if the boss wants to go, everyone goes. After all, we all know what the conclusion’s going to be at the end of all this: little Rev. Steve has already gone on record as saying It’s time for the Diocese of South Carolina to join the new North American Province: Anglican Communion North America. Anything short will mark a complete failure of leadership, so you don’t need to be The Amazing Criswell to predict that when the waters subside at the end of St. Andrew’s forty days their little ark won’t strike land at Mt. ECUSA. So why bother with all the pretense?

Let’s face it, when a Priest in a polo shirt gets the purple itch nobody’s as eager to help out with a good scratching as little Bobby Duncan. Sure Wood's Pentecostal predilections aren’t going to win him any friends among the Reformed Episcopal boys (see Lifting the Rock’s great post for an idea of how much the Calvinist Chosen Ones love their new tongue-babbling bedmates in ACNA), nor is his obvious distain for a nice flurry of man-lace going to appeal to the Forward-in-Faith dearies, but after losing to Bishop Lawrence last time South Carolina was handing out hats it’s clear Bobby Duncan’s sect is young Steve’s only chance of getting the promotion he clearly craves.

Which should settle the matter. Clearly the boy’s been sparing the rod when it comes to spoiling his congregation: if they honestly need a 40 day pantomime before complying with a demand this crucial to his thirst for power what certainty is there that they’ll follow orders and drink the kool-aid when the time comes?

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.

8 comments :

Revd Ivan Ackeroff said...

Rev Wood is to be commended for following Our Lord's 40 days in the wilderness. It was there that His mission was decided: to emerge to found an Episcopal Church built upon a Rock; to pray that his followers "all be one". And then to break away to found another "Church" because He didn't like the people in the first one.

Lifting the Rock said...

That REC blogger is not a happy camper - he's at it again.

Fred Schwartz said...

Whew! Sure glad I read the post -- I thought Little Bobby was becoming big Bobby!

Lapinbizarre said...

A guy in a polo shirt who owns sixteen different versions of Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

Canon Itchy said...

I don't know what's funnier, the title or this:
"Still, there’s something sad in seeing that any church – even one like St. Andrew’s, where folks are very proud of their “dynamic contemporary worship” (which is happy-clappyese for screaming like banshees while slobbering like walruses during the Sunday morning service) – needs to bother with all this pretense."

Whatever, rolling on the predella!

Leonardo Ricardo said...

Oh please, this looks like a case for the stickfingered Orombi...really, nobody better in the selfproclaimed Godliness department...besides, he´s a sneak, sort of a gladhanding Jack in the Box!

Brad said...

Jimmy Carter?

Got the shirt said...

Actually, if you read Rev Wood's blog he's a pretty rabid Calvinist. So, Calvinist and Happy Clappy? And Anglican? Those go together theologically, liturgically, pastorally? What a mess of pottage.