Friday, September 4, 2009

"It is not the healthy who need a doctor...'

Thinking further upon the unBiblical notion of health-care reform, it struck me that the fact that Albanian women have a longer life expectancy than those in the United States (see here for the numbers) is just further proof of how important it is for Biblical Christians to oppose this evil initiative to care for the weakest and most vulnerable members of American society.

Little Matt Kennedy’s been doing his bit to drum up the hysteria, by citing an article in The Guardian outlining flaws in the British National Health Service while conveniently failing to mention that according to United Nations research the people of the United Kingdom must endure the world’s 22nd highest life expectancy, while the United States stands at a proud #38 – showing how the enslaved British must endure their substandard health care system for significantly longer than Americans, who die younger, as god and the Republican Party obviously intended them to.

Leading the way, however, in this crucial battle, has been the Investor’s Business Daily who published an editorial implying that were Stephen Hawking to live in the U.K. he “wouldn’t have a chance” (thank you Jay Bookman for spotting this). Sadly because of troublemaking nit-pickers who kept pointing out that not only does Professor Hawking live in the U.K., he has always lived in there, the IDB felt pressured to revise their well-researched hyperbole. All of which has left Consuella wandering around the Rectory muttering about how “if investment experts relied on idiots like these for advice the global financial crisis was inevitable.”

Personally I think she’s being a bit harsh. As I reflected while recently conducting an extremely well-remunerated funeral, you only have to look at the late Michael Jackson to see how well the American medical system works for rich and poor alike. And if the citizens of more affluent and influential nations like Costa Rica or Malta want to squeeze out a few more years of life before facing judgement at the feet of the Lord and Saviour their socialist governments forced them to deny that’s up to them. As far as I’m concerned sending the ineffectively insured to meet their Maker a few years earlier than necessary is simply good stewardship. After all, it’s not as if what Jesus said in Luke 6:20 about the Kingdom of God belonging to the poor mentions anything about treating them should they fall sick or injured. Instead of whining about not being able to see a doctor, they should simply obtain whatever antibiotics or other medication they need by helping our honest agro-industrial corporations and consuming more factory-farmed chicken and pork.

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.

5 comments :

Jim said...

As I blogged on my little site, your brilliant and precise writing has led me to change my view of the healthcare discussion.

FWIW
jimB
Jim's Thoughts

Fred Schwartz said...

Fahterr Christian,
I especially enjoy several issues with the current state of affairs.
First, there is the periodic depression, despair and cryingthat goes on because Wilma has MS, a pre-exisitng condition that prohibits here from getting long term insurance and in fact prohibits her from switching insurances at all!
Then there is the annual battle over all her drugs (all two). Each year the insurance company denies our annual claim for a medication that is prescribed for her by her neurologist for fatigue. Each year for five years now she has been denied, we appeal, and then we are granted an exception. I especially enjoy the phone call where I ask for all the statisitcs on persons taking this medication, how many are denied on the first application and how many of those front line staffers get bonuses based on the rate of denial they have. It is both interesting and exciting to yell over the phone at mindless/faceless persons who, have no medical degree nor any specific medical knowledge and yet are compensated based on how many denials of doctor prescribed medication they perform.
The fact that this is now, somehow related to our Christianity (or lack thereof) leaves me cold and stunned. The fact that people who supposedly represent our Lord here on earth, or at least turn their collar around and pretend, gives me pasue for great joy. See I remember how Jesus shunned lepers, blind people, and lame persons. I remember how Jesus had Peter checking the blind guy at the door to make sure he had enough denarii to make it worth Jesus' time to stopp and spit in the mud and put the mud on the blind guys eyes. I remember how Jesus slapped the snot out of the woman who touched his cloak without firts paying a deductible. I remember how the person fell out of the tree trying to get Jesus to heal his friend and Jesus shined him on because the person obviously had a pre-existing condition.
Yep, I am so happy about this turn of events I think I will break out my bottle of Glenlivet. (NO, unless you have a deductible you are prepared to pay I will not share!)

Fred Schwartz said...

Father, forgive my spelling for I know not what spell checker you use.

David |Dah • veed| said...

Fred, you were obviously into the Glenlivet before you began writing!

Boaz said...

Your help in exposing the short-sightedness of health care for all is appreciated, Father Christian, but there is one more important concern that I wish to raise.

I can see the eventual downgrading of dramas such as "E.R.", "House" and "Greys Anatomy" once socialist medicine gets it's grubby hands on the US health system.

We have the finest TV medical dramas already. Why meddle with them?