As the World’s greatest Bible Expositor I naturally do not make mistakes. Thus when there is occasionally something incorrect in any of my teachings it is always someone else’s fault.
I say this because in yesterday’s epistle there was a clear inaccuracy: as Bishop IT once perceptively noted, what little John-David Schofield actually said was “Here I sit; I can do no other”.
My sincerest apologies to Her Grace, Bishop IT, for the failure to correctly cite her perceptively accurate record of the Saviour of San Joaquin’s words. Until recently the blame for all such errors rested solely with Brother Richthofen, although now we have been joined by Evangelical Eric the responsibility now rests firmly on his trembling spotty shoulders. I assure everyone he will be suitably corrected for this unchristian inaccuracy.
We will, however, have to proceed carefully with the young clergyman. Although he hasn’t fainted again in the past couple of days, he does still appear extremely fragile, and I’m not sure he’s ready to be appropriately disciplined. Indeed, earlier in the week the lad seemed so unwell I was about to call for a doctor, but Consuella quite rightly pointed out this might just result in a little unhealthy publicity for the Parish, and as several of her Latina Dance Fellowship girls have nurse uniforms it makes more sense for them to just pretend to provide him with medical care, at a fraction of the price. And Brother Richthofen says if that doesn’t work he and his friends from Seminary will have a go at treating him, to see if that works. All of which just shows what a caring and faithful ministry team St. Onuphrius has been blessed with.
I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.