Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Archbishop Jensen Apologises to GAFCON

A regular reader has alerted me to the fact that a certain heretical Anabaptist from the globe’s nether regions is now attempting to apologise for his disgraceful insult to the World’s Greatest Doctrinal Warrior.

As Bible-believers everywhere will know, “Archbishop” Jensen and his diocese of relatives are as a result in formal, undying schism with the heart of GAFCON, and when first told of their attempts to rejoin the Communion of Saints I must admit to being sceptical, since there is to my knowledge not a single instance of any of the Jensens ever admitting to being wrong about anything, but my faithful informant encouraged me to examine the evidence for myself here.

Sure enough, at what appears to be some sort of popish shrine erected by the Archbishop of Sydney’s distant relatives, may be seen evidence of his lips pursed in penitence before a mural based upon the design of my own ministry’s noble banner, no doubt constructed as a mark of respect to the One whom his own flesh and blood treated so shamefully.

Yet forgiveness is not merely a matter of whimsically pretending a person’s sin is no longer be held against them: even Archbishop Jensen is on record as teaching that God does not forgive simply because a person says “sorry” – there must be restitution, compensation, and a deep, crushing sense of guilt. And even then that doesn’t mean they’re free to get on with their lives: what follows should involve years of Bible study, unlistenable ‘Christian’ music, and prayer meetings in which young men with spots pray extempore, crying “Dear Heavenly Father we just want to thank you for the gift of your dear Son” just in case He forgets about the whole atonement business. No, just because Archbishop Jensen is begging to be readmitted to the ranks of the orthodox doesn’t mean he should be.

In fact the Bible expressly declares that those of his ilk from Down Under should be opposed, for Ezekiel 20:46 commands: “Son of man, set your face toward the south; preach against the south and prophesy against the forest of the southland.” As little John-David Schofield (who has long been renown for his originality) so famously said: “Here I stand. I can do no other".

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.

2 comments :

susan s. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
IT said...

Oh, thank you for recalling my moment of triumph...

IT, unrepentent atheist