The Hounds of Heaven Declare my Glory

That fine Canine Bard Grendel has presented me with an award so truly magnificent I have ordered my ministry team to gather and gaze at my sidebar’s new addition in admiration. Let me respond in detail to his moving presentation soliloquy, which was as follows:

Hi, Father Christian.
I am just a dog. I would like to give you a Big Shiny Metal Award. Don't get Mad and Yell at me. I wrote about why over at my Blog, but you can Ignore it if you want, 'cause I notice you have another Award about kicking people in the hindquarters but this isn't that type of award.

Do you Accept Dogs?

My dear inestimable hound, I most certainly do accept dogs, as well as cats and all other non-human members of our Lord’s family, including gerbils – whom urban myth cites as bringing great joy to man.

Indeed, I have never met a dog or cat not closer to the Kingdom of Heaven than any human excepting myself, and consider them as invariably possessing a kind of wisdom far surpassing that of their two-legged carers. To be perfectly honest, the way many creatures look sideways at me suggests they not infrequently see through my professions of unsurpassed ecclesiastic anointing, and leaves me with the sneaking suspicion that there’s no way I could ever persuade any of them to tithe their money/possessions/real estate/sexual partners. Which certainly makes them a lot more intelligent than the good folk of Ichabod Springs, that’s for sure.

Nor do I ever raise my voice in anger and yell at any animal. That, dear Grendel, is one of the primary purposes for which God created Curates, Deacons and Youth Workers. As for kicking hindquarters, that should be considered as the human equivalent of biting; admittedly generally unacceptable, but nonetheless frequently the most satisfying way of making one’s point. Besides, like squeaky toys and the stuffed critters most dogs enjoy tearing to shreds, some people are just made to be treated roughly. It’s easy to pick them though: they’re the ones wearing headgear commonly referred to as an “asshat”, and claiming that they only meddle in other people’s affairs “for their own good”. As opposed to myself, who unabashedly admits to only meddling in other people’s personal matters for my own good.

No, thou Tremendous Terrier, I accept your award with thanks. It is indeed shiny, metallic and big, and the figurine upon it is wearing a charming gown which I believe would look almost as fetching upon my own svelte figure. Ignore it? Never! The Bible may caution against receiving excessively praise from men, but says nothing regarding the praise of dogs, or of women, and I delight to bask in either’s recognition and attention.

After the recent murmuring from some of my previous awardees, I shall however refrain from nominating anyone else just yet… but I will, and I’m expecting all of you other bloggers to be on your best behaviour in anticipation of selection. In the meantime the rules of this honor can be found on the righteous Grendel’s post here, while background information on the award can be found on the creators’ site Arte Y Pico

Thank you again Grendel; Blessed are you among Creatures.

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.