Let The Games Begin!

Despite their being Godless Commies, there’s a great deal to admire about the Chinese government. Any regime which persecutes minorities and imprisons critics can’t be all bad, and is closer to the spirit of GAFCON than one might first realise. Combined with the balanced politics of the International Olympic Committee, whose past president Juan Antonio Samaranch was a loyal Spanish Fascist (how can anyone not love a man who insists on being addressed as “Your Excellency”?), and which is currently led by someone who understands the importance of breaking promises about censorship, and the Beijing Olympics promise to set a marvellous example for young people the world over.

I particularly like the way Beijing has set a new standard for the time-honoured Olympic tradition of using pomp, ceremony and fireworks to distract people from petty issues like human rights, and provided some of the western world’s largest companies with a marvellous opportunity to exploit a people who up until now only had the privilege of being exploited by their own leaders.

What’s more, it’s often overlooked that the Olympics are of tremendous importance to pharmaceutical researchers the world over. Where would the modern horse-racing industry be were it not for the amazing developments made by East-German sports-scientists during the 1960s and 70s?

Cleverest of all, however, is the way the Olympics take sport away from the realm of something people do for fun and recreation, and elevate it to a matter of national pride surpassing trifles such as eliminating corruption, making quality health-care freely available to everyone, and ensuring children everywhere receive the finest education possible. In so doing the Olympic Movement keeps alive the ancient tradition of “Bread and Circuses”, bringing us all a step closer to the glorious days of ancient Rome when Our Lord Himself walked the earth. If only we had men of their vision running Lambeth.

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.