We're Back!

HALLELUJAH!! The spawn of perdition with whom St. Onuphrius’ is contracted for our internet services have finally succumbed to the power of our prayers, and reconnected us. This means we are no longer dependant on the Methodist’s wireless connection, and Evangelical Eric can come back down from the ladder upon which he has been monitoring them to see when we can obtain access.

Unfortunately after all this time the foolish lad has grown rather attached to his ladder, and is at present refusing to leave it. For the past few weeks we’ve been sending his food up there in a pail, which he then keeps after his meals and uses for any necessary ablutions before lowering it again, and once Brother Richthofen showed him how to tie himself to the rungs so he wouldn’t fall off in his sleep, he appeared to grow quite fond of the whole arrangement.

Bishop Quinine has suggested we leave him up there, but transfer the ladder, Curate and all, to the Rectory front lawn, where he can become the spearhead for a Stylite revival. He reasons that since the Anglican Communion has effectively revived Donatism, while J. I. Packer and his Canadian Nigerian friends are bringing little Peter Jensen’s Gnosticism to North American aundience, St. Onuphrius’ should identify ourselves with the Stylites quickly, before all the good early church heresies are taken.

He has a point, although I’m not too sure if Evangelical Eric has it in him to make it through the winter. Perhaps we may have to just bring him in on really cold nights, or perhaps we could rent him to a parish down south for the duration. There’s sure to be somewhere eager to share in the blessings to be had from a bit of as yet unexploited patristic insanity.

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.