Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Who says the Reformers aren't relevant today?

Since I’m well aware a number of you have been amusing yourselves with one of the Jensen Family’s house-boys, who can rarely understand anything not directly attributable to somebody involved in killing Roman Catholics during the 16th century, I thought the following quote from a lad named Martin Luther seemed pertinent.

“The best way to get rid of the Devil, if you cannot kill it with the words of Holy Scripture, is to rail at and mock him. Music, too, is very good; music is hateful to him, and drives him far away.”

Who knows: by the Grace of God a few Jensen chattels might even find a thing or two explained in this brief excerpt of the reformer’s wisdom. And you don’t suppose those comments about the devil hating music could have any relevance to this, do you?

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.

9 comments :

Two Cents said...

And here I thought my ears burned when I played "Casting Crowns" on my ipod because they suck. This happens when I listen to any Christian Rock. Could it be that I'm the devil? No wonder my prayers for the Jensen's to be swallowed by a sink hole haven't been answered.

Kirkepiscatoid said...

Wait a minute...I thought Martin Luther often chased away Satan with a good, loud fart?

"He was known to have yelled at the evil one thus: "I have s#$% in my pants, and you can hang them around your neck and wipe your mouth with it." Luther felt that the spirit of God was strong in him for he could drive the devil away "with a single fart."

If I had known these things in my younger years, I might have remained Lutheran...I can't see Cranmer being much of a farter...

Edmo the Anti_Evil said...

I heard that Dean Jensen used leavened bread and non-alcholic grape juice, served in disposable plastic cups. It's an outrage.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

No, No, No Two Cents: Luther was talking about good music, not the stuff you find in Christian bookshops. Try playing some of the better stuff you find at MadPriest's place and the sink holes will be opening faster than you can say "Please God..."

Edmo the etc.: Just that you heard of him using anything to celebrate at all is a big improvement on what i heard goes on. Which reminds me, didn't Luther also say "I'd rather drink sheer blood with Rome than mere wine with the fanatics"? Which makes sense to me, Kirkepiscatoid: it takes some seriously nasty wine on it's own to give one gas that bad. Just ask Bishop Quinine...

Fred Schwartz said...

Father Christian,
Once again, you asked for it so here it is:

Sympathy For The Devil
Rolling Stones

Please allow me to introduce myself
Im a man of wealth and taste
Ive been around for a long, long year
Stole many a mans soul and faith
And I was round when jesus christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But whats puzzling you
Is the nature of my game
I stuck around st. petersburg
When I saw it was a time for a change
Killed the czar and his ministers
Anastasia screamed in vain
I rode a tank
Held a generals rank
When the blitzkrieg raged
And the bodies stank
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
Ah, whats puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah
I watched with glee
While your kings and queens
Fought for ten decades
For the gods they made
I shouted out,
Who killed the kennedys?
When after all
It was you and me
Let me please introduce myself
Im a man of wealth and taste
And I laid traps for troubadours
Who get killed before they reached bombay
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But whats puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah, get down, baby
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But whats confusing you
Is just the nature of my game
Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners saints
As heads is tails
Just call me lucifer
cause Im in need of some restraint
So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or Ill lay your soul to waste, um yeah
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, um yeah
But whats puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, um mean it, get down
Woo, who
Oh yeah, get on down
Oh yeah
Oh yeah!
Tell me baby, whats my name
Tell me honey, can ya guess my name
Tell me baby, whats my name
I tell you one time, youre to blame
Ooo, who
Ooo, who
Ooo, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Oh, yeah
Whats me name
Tell me, baby, whats my name
Tell me, sweetie, whats my name
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Oh, yeah

Father David Heron said...

As one of your students, Dr Troll, you know me to be loving, kind and doctrinally 'sound'. Recently, I have been labelled as "spiteful and nasty" by an ould Jensen family houseboy. In your opinion, do you think I should be mortally offended by this libel, or should I wear it as a badge of honour and a small martyrdom?
P.S. If I need an unscrupulous lawyer, do you know any in Texas?

+clumber said...

Father Heron is only partially right. In fact, he, +i, MP, and Father Christian have all be verbally abused! Oh, the humanities! I must go dig out my appropriate purple hair-shirt now... I am so ashamed!

Doorman-Priest said...

That Luther. Some guy eh? Shame they shot him.

david virtue's bountiful bosom said...

Mr Ould is all atwitter about the attention he is receiving now and can speak of little else.

Apparently this is the most excitement they've seen in those parts since Grandma got her tit caught in the wringer washer.