My my: you would not believe how many people from Sydney dropped by in response to yesterday’s post mentioning little Pete Jensen’s imported pitchman. Naturally none of the visiting throng indentured to the Jensen Family Firm were able to leave comments, since it’s been a public holiday down there they were unable to contact their masters for permission to speak, but it was still lovely to feel their presence seeping through the intertubes like an army of “ever so ‘umble” evangelical Uriah Heeps.
Naturally those of you who have for some time sat here at my feet and gazed longingly up my cassock will understand the thrill experienced by these virgins to the exciting world of GAFCON Bible-teaching, and if and when they do find the courage to speak out I must warn you that your old Father Christian won’t be mincing any words in his reply. If people want vapid kind words of empathy they can visit David Virtue; this is a place where we tell it like it is. Besides, if someone wasn’t already conditioned to like getting belted around the head they wouldn’t hang around with little Pete and his sock-puppets in the first place.
What must be said in their defence, however, is that one only has to look at any web site about Sydney to see that the local “Anglican” Puritanism connects with the city’s heart, soul, and other body parts in a way that apostate liberals elsewhere in the world can only dream of achieving. Sure, one or two foreigners are a bit tardy when it comes to accepting what Little Pete’s family teaches about St. Paul's condemnation of the world to everlasting damnation, but it’s not as if these unbelievers live in the Christian parts of town, so they’re not really worth worrying about and probably can’t even be considered human in an evangelical sense of the word. No, the Archbishop of Sydney is doing such a great job that it’s no wonder he’s now establishing franchises in everyone else’s Province, Diocese and Parish: I’d be surprised if there’s so much as single lost sheep left in his own field.
I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.