Monday, January 26, 2009

"... He came with myriads of holy ones from the south" (Deut 33:2).

My my: you would not believe how many people from Sydney dropped by in response to yesterday’s post mentioning little Pete Jensen’s imported pitchman. Naturally none of the visiting throng indentured to the Jensen Family Firm were able to leave comments, since it’s been a public holiday down there they were unable to contact their masters for permission to speak, but it was still lovely to feel their presence seeping through the intertubes like an army of “ever so ‘umble” evangelical Uriah Heeps.

Naturally those of you who have for some time sat here at my feet and gazed longingly up my cassock will understand the thrill experienced by these virgins to the exciting world of GAFCON Bible-teaching, and if and when they do find the courage to speak out I must warn you that your old Father Christian won’t be mincing any words in his reply. If people want vapid kind words of empathy they can visit David Virtue; this is a place where we tell it like it is. Besides, if someone wasn’t already conditioned to like getting belted around the head they wouldn’t hang around with little Pete and his sock-puppets in the first place.

What must be said in their defence, however, is that one only has to look at any web site about Sydney to see that the local “Anglican” Puritanism connects with the city’s heart, soul, and other body parts in a way that apostate liberals elsewhere in the world can only dream of achieving. Sure, one or two foreigners are a bit tardy when it comes to accepting what Little Pete’s family teaches about St. Paul's condemnation of the world to everlasting damnation, but it’s not as if these unbelievers live in the Christian parts of town, so they’re not really worth worrying about and probably can’t even be considered human in an evangelical sense of the word. No, the Archbishop of Sydney is doing such a great job that it’s no wonder he’s now establishing franchises in everyone else’s Province, Diocese and Parish: I’d be surprised if there’s so much as single lost sheep left in his own field.

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.

13 comments :

Father David Heron said...

Please don't belt me round the head, Father Christian. I have spent four hours looking at the Ozzie 'Mardi Gras' site and can't find an Ould or a Jensen on parade anywhere. Do you know any GAFCON sodomy sites where they hang out? I wish to report them to the Bishop of Durham.

Brian R said...

I seem to have got into a debate with Ould, something I detest as it is bad enough living in the same city as them

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

How dare that second-rate English export question the word of one of my most esteemed antipodean readers! Please send me the details of this debate, my dear son, as I'd certainly like to take him to task for stupidly disagreeing with someone obviously his intellectual and spiritual superior.

As for the location of Sydney Gafcon beats, Father Heron, I'm not too well informed, although I have heard there's quite a scene in the rest rooms at a park nearby Moore College - failing which, if it's raining, the College Library toilets have long been rumoured to be pretty active.

Brian R said...

You will be glad to know Father that David Ould visits your blog as he has quoted my comment here.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Of course he visits here, my dear Son - they all do. Sadly they never seem to learn anything, but given that Christ hasn't succeeded at teaching them either one can hardly expect otherwise.

Still, reality has a way of catching up with his kind (one of these days I'll get around to recounting some history concerning a few of this misguided little mouthpiece's predecessors in the fascinating political organization "where he works with others to preserve the strong evangelical ethos of the Diocese in Sydney"

And for all you Viagravillains following the link over from the PR Officer's site, he's quite right: h ere at GAFCON we are angry. I suggest you read Matthew 23 some time to get an idea why. But please remember that just because we're angry doesn't mean we're not also laughing.

At you, not with you.

Father David Heron said...

David Ould "discovered that being a Christian is not at all about trying hard to be good in order to please God. Quite the opposite!"
Dear Dr Troll. Perhaps this quote from Ould's site is the clue to his behaviour. Trying hard to be bad is an odd way of interpreting Scripture.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Insightful observation indeed, Father Heron. That most certainly does explain a great deal about the foolish lad.

Father David Heron said...

I notice, Dr Troll, that David Ould now includes a link to your esteemed website on his own homepage. You are gathering more disciples every day!

Father David Heron said...

I notice, Dr Troll, that David Ould now includes a link to your esteemed website on his own homepage. You are gathering more disciples every day!

david virtue's bountiful bosom said...

Ould seems delighted that someone is finally paying him some attention.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Of course he's delighted: in meeting me he thinks he might have found someone who's an even bigger bully than his current masters, and his sort can't help but find that exciting - the "biggest silver-back male" theory applies every time.

I suspect any day now he'll send me a note begging St. Onuphrius' to buy his ownership papers from the Jensens...

david virtue's bountiful bosom said...

Yes, but would Jensen be willing to part with such a dutiful little lickspittle?

He didn't get to be the head of the most powerful Gnostic Puritan sect in the world by being a bad businessman, you know.

Anonymous said...

This is the first time i have visited this blog and as i read it and the comments here Paul's words in Ephesians ring loud in my head -
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Eph 4:29-32

I am happy to read that you teach the bible. But my question is do you live it?