Thursday, March 18, 2010

Behind the Green Door with Matt.

As the noble feline Mehitabel reported in the comments of my previous homily, the wicked apostate Diocese of Central New York appears to have sold the buildings formerly known as the “Kennedy Shrine to Orthodoxy” (aka “The Church of the Good Shepherd”) to a group of Homophobic Literalists.

This is, of course, a shocking move, particularly given how much it has just cost the diocese in legal fees to evict another group of Homophobic Literalists. Granted, this new group wanted to pay for the premises, which must have struck the diocesan leadership as an astonishing novelty, and, it’s not as if the premises will be used for any liberal purposes. As my Conservative Brethren always say after failing in an attempt to steal property, “it’s people, not buildings that matter”. Following which they devote the best part of their miserable little lives complaining about the dreadful injustice of something that doesn’t matter.

Still, there’s no denying the pain which little Matt and Hostillium must be currently feeling. Knowing that the rooms in which they once home-schooled and thrashed (not necessarily in that order) their little ones into righteousness are now being used for the purpose of eating foreign food and speaking a language with alarmingly guttural consonants must indeed be a terrible burden. Sure countless other people in the past few years have had their family homes seized and sold out from under them - homes which they’d thought they’d owned until the lending institutions proved otherwise – but their loss is paltry by comparison, particularly since it only occurred as a result of general economic blessings brought about by god-fearing Republican fiscal policies.

The Kennedy’s, on the other hand, lost the home in which they lived because of their own actions – making them vastly more deserving of our sympathy. And attention, prayers, support, tears, wringing of hands, and endless navel-gazing commiseration. Does anyone realise the pain they’ve endured through all this? Or how much more important it is that we feel sorry for them than for some unemployed factory-worker in the Rust Belt who can’t afford to pay for his wife’s cancer treatment, let alone keep the house in which his kids played …

No, when I read the words little Matt posted on Facebook the enormity of his suffering becomes indescribably real: “ today I passed by and saw that the doors were painted green”. Dearly Beloved Sinners, how can anyone not read those words and weep? Green, I tell you, green!!! Is there no end to the misery these people must be made to endure?

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.


Fr. Daniel Weir said...

The Diocese is Central New York.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

So it is Father, so it is. My apologies, and the clarifying amendment duly made - it's just that all those New York liberals look the same to me.

Anonymous said...

I have always been unable to distinguish between the anti-homosexualist rantings of Mahmoud Ahmadinijad, and the biblical exegesis propounded on the same subject by Mr Matt Kennedy. The Diocese of Central New York is to be commended for its sensitivity to the neighbours who live next to Mr Kennedy's former Calvinist Chapel. Apart from a lovely green door, they will be unable to detect a change of use.

clumber said...

You know, I've been in meetings with some of the folks from the Muslim community around here, and also in meetings with the Church of the "Good" Shepherd folks, and it was only in the latter that I heard that they had come to wage Spiritual Warfare with the unGodly - meaning anyone who was not them. If we welcome the Green Door, maybe it's because it's easier to recognize the Christ within these folks. And Tony's little hissy fit over there strikes me that not only doesn't he know any gay/lesbian folks, he doesn't know any Muslims either. He needs to get out in the world a little!

A big welcome to Fr Hugh Jass... haven't I sat next to you on a plane flight sometime?

W.V.= congo (Shouldn't that be Uganda on Nigeria or SouthernCone or something?)

MadPriest said...

Well there is good news for Matt insomuch that there's a much higher chance of him being asked back to his old home to preach than if the building had remained the property of TEC.

Brad Evans said...

Anglo-catholic bitchiness strikes one out over the fence again!
If passive-aggressive were a fuel, we'd be energy independent thanks to the good folks at the shrinking mainline churches of the developed world.
Now if the guys behind the green doors could just get some of the more alarmingly unattractive female clergy behind burquas, that would just be be icing on the cake.

MadPriest said...

I'm beginning to wonder if Brad actually exists. The similarity between all his comments, their fixation with just one subject and the way he still comments on sites that have rejected all his comments for years, leads me to believe Brad might just be a computer programme that has been set up to randomly post self generated bile to Christian blogs. The only thing against this is that even the most basic random comment generator would come up with more intelligent comments than Brad manages.

Lapinbizarre said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lapinbizarre said...

From the 19th March, 2010 issue of the Church of Ireland Gazette:

Dean of Sydney to speak at evening reception during May General Synod

The Irish Church Missions (ICM) is planning to host an evening reception for members of General Synod and others on Thursday 6th May, at 7.30pm, in the ICM building, 28 Bachelors Walk, Dublin. The guest speaker will be the Dean of St Andrew’s Cathedral, Sydney, the Very Revd Phillip Jensen, who will speak on the subject of ‘Why I am an Anglican’

Anonymous said...

But The Dean of Sydney is a Baptist with a very anti - Midas touch! Looks like that's the end of the rest of the pseudo Anglicans - Baptists! Matthias Media and its affiliates must be in recession!
I noticed that the US Baptists are implementing Sydney's Connect 09. Right wing evangelism is always backward looking. Don't they know it's 2010!
"It seems Connect09 is being done by Baptists in Kentucky. Except they are doing it in a month, not a year! They have just kicked off their largest-ever evangelism campaign, seeking to share the Gospel with 1.5 million households in the state by Easter. This is part of the wider evangelistic effort called “God’s Plan for Sharing” (GPS) developed by the Southern Baptist Convention. They are rolling it out in many areas of North America and door-to-door and neighbour sharing plays a significant part. There’s a sensational TV ad at their website. The website, by the way, has all the elements of the Connect09 website and is done in a very similar fashion. One difference - I bet they don’t have Colin Buchanan!"

I wonder if the book companies might do well from this strategy?

"Kentucky Baptists plan to distribute printed Gospel presentations to every household between March 6 and through March 21"

Anonymous said...

I have just found this on the net. Speaks volumes.