As the internationally renowned pesticide capital of world, Ichabod Springs takes gestures like Earth Hour very seriously. Few people appreciate how environmentally friendly the corporations and factories which manufacture mindlessly toxic chemicals really are, and our community likes to show how much we care by turning off all non-essential lights and appliances for a whole 60 of the 525,600 minutes in the year (527,040 if it’s a leap year). Not only does promoting this simple gesture help distract our community from the need to make vastly greater systemic changes, but the novelty of giving something back to the earth which doesn’t become dangerous as it’s passed up along the food chain is always entertaining.
As Christians we are meant to exercise wisdom in our stewardship of the countless blessings with which we have been entrusted. How, for example, if everyone squanders all the oil and poisons the forests and oceans will I be able crush unsuspecting wildlife beneath the wheels of my Hummer when off-roading? Where will I be able to dump my empty cola cans? Who will destroy the pristine silence of the mountains in winter, or a lake in summer, if males of minimal intelligence can no longer enjoy their snow-mobiles and jet-skis?
None of which is, of course, to be misconstrued as implying I’m some sort of Apostate Pagan Environmentalist Green Tree Hugger. God told the cavepersons to kill the dinosaurs for a reason, and if that reason had just been because the dinosaurs were big, ugly, and dangerous He would have first ordered them to get rid of the NRA. No: God wanted his people to enjoy the blessings of petroleum dependency, and if consuming oil wasn’t an integral part of Christianity, then the Holy Spirit would have never guided President Bush to invade Iraq. Nor would the Scriptures compel Evangelicals to wear synthetic fabrics.
I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.