Friday, March 26, 2010

Earth Hour: Ichabod Springs Celebrates.

As the internationally renowned pesticide capital of world, Ichabod Springs takes gestures like Earth Hour very seriously. Few people appreciate how environmentally friendly the corporations and factories which manufacture mindlessly toxic chemicals really are, and our community likes to show how much we care by turning off all non-essential lights and appliances for a whole 60 of the 525,600 minutes in the year (527,040 if it’s a leap year). Not only does promoting this simple gesture help distract our community from the need to make vastly greater systemic changes, but the novelty of giving something back to the earth which doesn’t become dangerous as it’s passed up along the food chain is always entertaining.

As Christians we are meant to exercise wisdom in our stewardship of the countless blessings with which we have been entrusted. How, for example, if everyone squanders all the oil and poisons the forests and oceans will I be able crush unsuspecting wildlife beneath the wheels of my Hummer when off-roading? Where will I be able to dump my empty cola cans? Who will destroy the pristine silence of the mountains in winter, or a lake in summer, if males of minimal intelligence can no longer enjoy their snow-mobiles and jet-skis?

None of which is, of course, to be misconstrued as implying I’m some sort of Apostate Pagan Environmentalist Green Tree Hugger. God told the cavepersons to kill the dinosaurs for a reason, and if that reason had just been because the dinosaurs were big, ugly, and dangerous He would have first ordered them to get rid of the NRA. No: God wanted his people to enjoy the blessings of petroleum dependency, and if consuming oil wasn’t an integral part of Christianity, then the Holy Spirit would have never guided President Bush to invade Iraq. Nor would the Scriptures compel Evangelicals to wear synthetic fabrics.

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.

7 comments :

Leonardo Ricardo said...

Why does this entry give me hope? It´s because you´ve finally nailed it completely...you´ve nailed them completely...perfect balance for Lent.

Fr Hugh Jass said...

I am lighting only two of the six candles on my High Altar to observe Earth Hour and will not be receiving any Oil of Chrism on Maundy Thursday. The price of oil has gone through the roof since Dubya invaded Iraq. It is only right that Evangelicals should switch off their power-points and electric guitars, if only to stop noise-pollution.

Leonardo Ricardo said...

...and then there is the matter of the GAFCON and GLOBAL SOUTHISH GASBAG explosion/threat.Everytime they preach, poach and pander (when opening their ignorant/selective selfrighteous mouths) the Hellfire and Damnation that is always aimed at demonizing others (usually LGBT people and heterosexual women or other ¨minorities¨ that won´t be agree to their feardriven and greed inspired junktalk) it´s a DEATH THREAT...hate speech is a contamination that is rotting the brains of various grandstanding faux Bishops and Primates at the Anglican Communion/other...worse than acid rain it has been destroying humanity for lifetimes while billing itself as PURIFIED water!

Brad Evans said...

AND then LEONARDO uses CAPITALS to be GAY and his SMALL DOGS....

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Real men, Brad my son, don't care what size their dogs are. They've no need to compensate.

As for the capitals, Leonardo is shouting in order to help you better understand. Sadly it didn't work.

Brad Evans said...

I thought he was just be FLAMBOYANT and FLAMING.
Oh WELL....
Real men? How the hell would anyone involved, especially when paid to talk to someone invisible, know what's real?
How about this for real: There is no god. You can't prove any of this.
There are fewer atheists in prison than in the general population. You're probably going to be under 2 million by 2020 and only 2.5% of the population under 25 belongs to ANY Mainline protestant church.
You are Protestant-just ask any Catholic or Orthodox.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Brad my son - I know your Pratt's Disease makes it hard for you to understand this, but it doesn't matter what you thought. And regardless of how many non sequiturs you care to cite in support of your rantings, people here are never going to take you seriously. That's why we love you so much.

Now be a good boy and stop soiling your crate, and I'll tell you a lovely story about vestments.