Monday, March 1, 2010
+Jensen's Sheep Sell Clothes to Pay His Gambling Debts.
After seeing this picture in the NY Daily News of Archbishop Peter Jensen's little flock having sold their garments in a pathetic attempt to raise enough money to cover their master's paltry $160 million gambling bill, Brother Richthofen and his friends from Seminary have been in a quandary. The boys simply can't understand why, given it's supposed to be summer down there, the evangelical menfolk all appear so cold.
Bishop Quinine believes the shrinkage is a side effect of their theological persuasions ("an excess of acid in their nocturnal emissions" is how he describes it), while Consuella insists Jensenism only ever appeals to those men already suffering from a certain a priori inadequacy.
Either way, I'm sure Beloved Sinners will have no problems identifying Dobby Ould, nor any other of the prominent figures from the Diocese of Mordor whom we all know and love. They're the ones near the front with their buttocks tightly clenched and trembling with nerves. Which is not to say they're in any way regretful of their little Peter's creative investment strategy; nor that they feel any need for him to apologize for losing in a few years what took their forebears more than 2 centuries to acquire.
No; they're just worried that, freed from her modest garment and appropriately demure headdress, one of the submissive weaker members of the trinity (a.k.a. in other parts of the Communion as "women") might in a moment of wild abandon cast all decency to the wind, and dare to read the Scriptures aloud.
I'm Father Christian and I teach the Bible.
at 5:41 PM