Monday, November 23, 2009

Roseann Allen-Matthews

I’ve completely broken character here only once before, so you’ll all have to please excuse me if this sounds awkward. But Roseann has died, and right now I’m just not up to channeling the dreadful Reverend Dr. Troll.

Not many people know this, but I have another blog, an obscure and now neglected site at which I rediscovered a voice I’d thought lost. Roseann was one of the first people to comment there, and it was through the encouragement of her and people like her that I was able to keep writing.

Much later the idea of this place came upon me from nowhere (although the less attractive aspects of Fr. Christian’s personality are based almost entirely upon several men under whom I had the dubious experience of serving), and Roseann got the joke immediately. Sure, there were times when I think she may have felt things went too far (I sometimes worry things here go too far), but she had a way of steering it all back on track which only ever left me feeling more determined than ever to not just believe in peace, but to be peace – with all the crazy, anarchic, and infinitely loving madness that involves.

For me being a Christian involves admitting I don’t have all the answers; to cease pretending I can see with any more clarity than through the darkest of glasses. That’s where Roseann has left us all behind: on her side of the river she sees in a way we cannot even begin to imagine. Of one thing I am certain, that one day we shall all see each other as God sees us. And on that day Roseann shall be laughing in our midst.

Till then we can’t help but shed a tear, despite it probably being the last thing she’d want us to do. That’s life, and that’s the person Roseann is. When we finally meet again I’m sure she won’t hold it against any of us – I for one am going to have a ball laughing with her over all the things I wanted to post here but was too chicken. And she… she’s going to be Roseann. Which just one more reason why that day will be so wonderful.