J. Mark Brewer: Still Seeking to Serve Dave Walker

I have no doubt that J. Mark Brewer is a man after my own heart, as well as any other body parts for which he might be able to obtain a reasonable price. Having previously discussed his important ministry of sending threatening ‘Cease and Desist’ letters, it brings me great joy to see this brave Texan lawyer is expanding his ministry of trying to silence and intimidate any bloggers daring to question his management of the historic Christian booksellers SPCK – questions like “Will everyone get paid?” or “What’s happened to staff pension funds?”, which no Bible-believer of J. Mark Brewer’s standing should ever be expected to bother answering.

In fact so insulting has the pressure from former SPCK staff and their disreputable supporters become that he’s been forced to send some very serious letters indeed – one to someone who has the gall to be raising funds to support those whom Mark’s management skills have left unemployed (if God didn’t want them and their families to starve why would Mark have dismissed them?); and one to a clergyman who’s so obviously misguided he appears to think justice and fair-business practices have something to do with Christian ministry.

It’s in the letters J. Mark Brewer sent to this second troublemaker that our fine wealthy lawyer’s pain becomes so clear. As Mark so heartrendingly cries, he is “… a private individual and I value my privacy. I am not a public figure…” - it’s this humble love of simple privacy that has drawn him to become a high-profile attorney and prominent businessman, as well as to post a whole page of pictures of himself on the internet here.

Indeed, anyone doubting Mark’s compassionate heart must surely admit their error when confronted with this moving account from the Washington Times of his representation on behalf of two men appealing against their conviction for shooting a foreigner in the buttocks. I’m sure Mark put it much more eloquently than I can, but what kind of society have we become where this is against the law? And isn’t it reassuring to know we have men like J. Mark Brewer fighting for the right for gunmen to continue courageously shooting people in the rear?

No, on the basis of all that I’ve seen of the man I can heartily endorse J. Mark Brewer and his firm Brewer & Pritchard in every way. I’m not ashamed to say I’ve tried calling Mark to personally give him my support, since his web site generously displays his number - (713) 209-2950, but he was obviously a little snowed under today, since the secretaries were unable to put me through. If I can’t speak to him soon I’ll send a fax - (713) 659-5302, as it’s important in times like these for a man to know just how the World’s Greatest Bible Teacher feels about him. And since his number is publically displayed on the web I’m sure he’s placed it there as invitation for others to offer him their support also, or to seek his professional services with regard to any buttocks you may have shot, or employees you don’t wish to pay - or even if you’d like advice on how to acquire a centuries-old firm, strip its assets and then declare it insolvent - as the website says; Mark's firm “has broad experience”.

As I’m blessed with the gift of Profound Spiritual Awareness, as well as an ability to track IP addresses, I believe that Mark (or someone from his office) has recently visited here, and I’ve no doubt they’ll be soon back again to benefit from my immense wisdom. Consequently I’d also like to take this opportunity to assure Mark in advance that any correspondence he may send me will be made public for public edification and amusement, and that any attempt on his part to communicate with me by any means whatsoever will be construed as an acceptance of my proviso.

Finally, a touching quote from J. Mark Brewer’s own web site – one which clearly sums up his personal creed:

“Like other business people, lawyers exist in a competitive world. They must be willing to withstand the scrutiny of those whom they serve and those whom they seek to serve.”

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.