Saturday, June 20, 2009

Bishops: Cheaper by the dozen.

Following a comment by one of my much esteemed and dearly beloved sinners at Preludium, it occurred to me that evil apostate liberals will suggest +Okinola’s latest ejaculation of “bishops” is just a last minute effort by little Chuck Murphy to get his numbers up before Bobby Duncan’s ACNA Assembly assumes the right to determine who or what gets to wear pseudo-purple north of the Rio Grande.

This is of course nonsense; there can surely be no doubt that in the future little Bobby is going to be just as happy to see Bishops of dioceses and provinces outside of ACNA appointing their own men to serve in “his” church as he was when they were when it was happening as part of ECUSA. Can there? And isn’t it just ridiculous to think there could be any rivalry between the different Primates of African regions which have hitherto disliked each other for millennia? Or that this rivalry could one day be expressed by stacking Bobby Duncan’s show with enough “bishops” of one’s own to control the voting? Not to mention all the juicy U.S. lucre certain to start flowing once the current economic crisis has passed.

No, the whole endeavor is purely altruistic, as little Chuck explained: "Rwanda is a beacon of hope. It has saved Americans from a state of quagmire," My dear sinners, have truer words been spoken? After all, the very first thing that comes into any American’s mind when hearing mention of Rwanda is “beacon of hope”. Try it for yourself: just grab the nearest machete and hold it against the throat of the next person you meet in the street while asking “Is Rwanda a beacon of hope?” You’ll find as I have that they invariably answer in the affirmative. After which they normally hand over their valuables in a respectful state of fear and trembling.

With this sort of support behind the faux-Rwandan prelates I’m certain it’s only a matter of time till believers in states where Chuckie’s met with a measure of success (such as Alabama and Georgia) start importing their own reunited Hutus and Tutsis to lead their congregations. And then I’m just as certain little Bobby Duncan’s new show will be delighted to pick up the cost of obtaining R-1 visas for their new clergy, happily recognizing their qualifications as valid irrespective of whoever they were purchased from. Suggesting otherwise is just too foolish for words.

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.


Grandmère Mimi said...

Will any of these groups give me a mitre? I know people of means.

David |Dah • veed| said...

North of the Rio Grand my sweet Cinnabons! Have you seen their new logo? They have their eyes set all the way to the Isthmus of Panama!!