In response to the countless aggrieved Scientologists who’ve complained that a recent homily implied little Peter Ould had embraced Dianetics®, I would like to categorically state he is no way associated with your nasty cult, and his behaviour is entirely the by-product of his involvement with an equally nasty pseudo-religious entity: Gnostic Anglo-Baptist Puritanism, a soul-destroying brew more commonly known as Jensen Export®.
My reference to Scientology® was purely within the context of little Peter’s enthusiastic adoption of your founder’s cavalier approach to litigation, and it was never my intention to suggest Petie had been accepted as a member of your ‘Church’, nor that you would ever consider admitting him . I fully appreciate that not all spiteful power-hungry cults are entirely bereft of standards, and that groups such as SPREAD, ACNA and the Anglican Diocese of Sydney, should not be considered as representative of your own organization, irrespective of the obvious similarities.
I’m Father Christian and Xenu* loves you.
*Xenu fulfills a similar role in the Scientological pantheon as that occupied by little Peter Jensen within Anglicanism. Except little Peter Jensen is real. Sort of.