Gbenga Onayiga, the Abuja Diocesan Communicator, today wrote in the Nigerian Guardian of my ministry: “GAFCON has now grown to become a global Movement that continues to fight for the soul and future of the Anglican Communion as a Church that is faithful to the revealed and written Word of God.”
Now praise this effluvial, even when coming from someone whose occupation is more correctly described as “court flatterer”, is always most enjoyable, but nobody in their right mitre ever takes it too seriously. Not even humble big Pete Akinola, of whom Gbenga speaks in such glowing terms through the rest of the article that Bishop Quinine’s first reaction upon reading it was to fear the Nabob of Nigeria had died and Michael Jackson’s hagiographers moved on to a new contract.
As I explained to him, and as anyone who’s ever spent time in a nation as socio-politically sophisticated and honest as Nigeria knows, eulogies this glowing are never produced when someone’s died, since that’s the time to curry favour with the new regime by sticking knives into the corpse of their predecessor. No, this is either the work of someone who badly wants a very large favour granted, or else he’s been ordered to start preparing the ground for a constitutional variation permitting big Pete to continue wielding his sacramental machete of office. My belief is the latter: that the modestly understated “hero of our time” has ordered his minions to get busy in order that he might soon be declared Supreme Leader for Life.
At the very least things are being set up in such a way as to ensure that the still unannounced heir is appointed unquestioned, but I have my doubts such a lad, if he ever existed at all, is still extant. Leaders of ++Akinola’s persuasion have an unfortunate tendency to eat their young.
I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.