Friday, August 28, 2009

Dream a little dream of Me.

It’s just come to my attention that the fairest maiden in all schismatic Christendom, whose love for me must forever remain unsatiated, has been experiencing dreams of a “lude [sic] and catchy” song featuring “an inappropriate dance”.

Now you don’t have to be Sigmund Freud (or even James Dobson) to understand what this most beautiful of all “invalid matter” (read the comments here if you’re not familiar with that wonderful expression) has been subconsciously projecting her yearnings for the Greatest of all Doctrinal Warriors, and I must ask all of you, My Dearly Beloved Sinners, to pray for sweet Hostillium in her struggles.

In the meantime, my blossom of Binghamton, please accept this clip as a dedication made especially in your matchless honour:


And for those of you who don’t have the faintest idea of what all this is about, click here and read down to the third last paragraph.

I’m Father Christian, and I understand why people find me irresistible.

18 comments :

Anonymous said...

yeah baby!!!

Raspberry Rabbit said...

Father Troll I'm feeling the need to bleach my brain after hearing the gummy bear clip. My worst fear is that I'll start spontaneously humming this at some point in the day.

Fred Schwartz said...

Well, I wish to thank you for that 2 minutes and 13 seconds whcih I shall never gert back.

clumber said...

Concerning the Gummy Bear Song, I was especially moved by the Trinitarian Theology expressed in it, and expect it will soon be incorporated deep into the dark rotten mess of the heart and soul of a Hostilium sermon. Namely "Three times you can bite me!".

However your last link in the post seems broken and needs some clean up.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Thank you my Lord Clumber - the link to our dear lady's dreams has now been mended.

Anonymous said...

I don't think I will ever eat gummy bears without thinking of your fair maiden and that song and dance routine. Thanks for expanding my universe. I have lived such a sheltered life.

Maxwell Smart

Anonymous said...

Perhaps a fitting scriptural text for this post would be Song of Solomon 2:8-13 assigned for this Sunday.

Maxwell Smart

Anonymous said...

Is Hostilium wise in the ways of the prostate?

Grandmère Mimi said...

Fr Christian, I am moved to confess my (until now!) secret. I, too, find you irresistible. How can I not, when you ARE?

That song! If it stays with me, I shall hold you fully responsible, irresistible or not.

Lynn said...

HAving been warned by friends I respect, I'm going to skip the video clip. I've heard it, I think.

My late ex used to take familiar songs and change up the words into these silly phrases, and the new refrains would stick for days. He also loved gummy bears (hat 'em myself). I can't risk the danger to my soul, Fr. C.

Anonymous said...

Hi Dr Christian, can I bring another site to your attention? Like Prostate Pete's site this is run by a porky and rather stupid clergyman. You'll find it here.

http://www.sbarnabas.com/blog/

I mention it because he has just been on a witch-hunt against a fellow-priest. Have a look. He could do with having his arse smacked. (Though, come to think of it, he might like that.)

Anonymous said...

I fear that the Prostatarians have taken Fr. Ivan hostage--his blog has suddenly vanished.

Watchwoman said...

Thank you so much, Anonymous, for warning us about the St Barnabas blog. We wouldn't want to be involved with any spiteful witch-hunting of one Anglican priest by another, now, would we?

Anonymous said...

Who can witchwoman mean, Father?

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Madam Watchwoman: While I can appreciate the satisfaction your voyeurism may bring you, I must request you be less flagrant in respect to your blog-name. This is a Conservative blog, and so while lots of people visiting here share your predilection, it's not considered acceptable to boast of such practices.

That said, have you ever peeped on anyone interesting? And would you care to email me a description of what you saw - purely for the purposes of my own research, of course.

Watchwoman said...

Oh, I see! Voyeurism and vitriol are only admissible if one is of a particular theological stripe. How amusing! And how slow of me not to understand this.

I can see that I shall have to renounce my transgendered status and dump the old timepiece – I shall henceforward be known as ‘Anonymous’.

Sorry, Rev Dr, but I cannot email any descriptions to you for fear of leading you too into a life of peeping tommery.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

That's alright my sinful child: I'm used to people like yourself being slow to understand.

I forgive you and, in time if I ask Him to, God might also forgive you.

Lapinbizarre said...

Wonder how the Gummybear song rates with the junior Alcibiades/Calibans?