It’s just come to my attention that the fairest maiden in all schismatic Christendom, whose love for me must forever remain unsatiated, has been experiencing dreams of a “lude [sic] and catchy” song featuring “an inappropriate dance”.
Now you don’t have to be Sigmund Freud (or even James Dobson) to understand what this most beautiful of all “invalid matter” (read the comments here if you’re not familiar with that wonderful expression) has been subconsciously projecting her yearnings for the Greatest of all Doctrinal Warriors, and I must ask all of you, My Dearly Beloved Sinners, to pray for sweet Hostillium in her struggles.
In the meantime, my blossom of Binghamton, please accept this clip as a dedication made especially in your matchless honour:
And for those of you who don’t have the faintest idea of what all this is about, click here and read down to the third last paragraph.
I’m Father Christian, and I understand why people find me irresistible.