Monday, August 24, 2009

A new mission to Britain.

As every Reasserter knows, the future of Anglicanism depends upon stealing churches. Granted, so far the wicked judges whom our Infallible Father in Heaven mistakenly appointed to rule over us have generally decided Episcopal church property is in fact the property of the Episcopal church, and not that of a new sect created by a former Bishop of Pittsburgh, but the principle remains the same: “Thou shalt not steal” applies only to six-packs of beer from the local 7-Eleven, automobiles belonging to people you like, and any act of larceny involving a blue-collar perpetrator. Everything else is fine, and in the case of parish buildings if one shares the theological inclinations of Jack Iker or little David Schofield, the theft can even be considered a work of supererogation.

Thanks to The Lead I’m delighted to learn that this truth, which up until now has only been applied in the U.S. and Canada, is now attracting adherents in Great Britain. In fact church theft is catching on so fast there that Peter Walley, chaplain to the Bishop of Lichfield, described this development to The Times as “the biggest asset-stripping of churches since the dissolution of the monasteries”.

So far it appears British church-thieves have some way to go before matching their Conservative North American brethren, since according to the The Times they’re currently only stealing the roofs, and leaving behind items of real value such as the silverware, pews and parishioners. Surely ACNA can spare at least one Bishop (goodness knows they’ve more than enough of them) to jump across the Atlantic and show them how to do things properly – if Bobby Duncan is serious about mission he should make this an issue of the highest priority. At the very least someone needs to quickly take everything they can grab from all these roofless churches before the apostate authorities have a chance to make the premises more secure. One only has to look at little Matt Kennedy’s story to see how much harder stealing church property becomes once the locks have been changed and the building secured.

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.

6 comments :

Anonymous said...

Talking of Matt Kennedy - things are not all rosy in his garden at the moment. He had to preach a sermon on the following recently:

"There are feuds and divisions here that are right now tearing at the unity of this congregation. Men, leaders, fighting over money. Brothers and sisters making harsh judgments about others in the congregation based on nothing but their own ungrounded assumptions. People going from person to person grumbling and criticizing and complaining about the behavior of others without even trying to talk face to face, just spreading bile into the body. I'll be honest, I've been tearing my hair out over the last two weeks wondering what to do about this."

Even that caused upset:

"Some have expressed worry, however, regarding visitors. What happens when visitors attend and the sermon is about an uncomfortable situation in the parish...won't that turn them off?"

Revd Ivan Ackeroff said...

I have two English Churches from which thieves have stolen the lead. I can't afford to replace either roof. I am wondering if an American Judge would allow me to take the roof of a schismatic Church in Binghamton. They probably wouldn't notice since they are spending their time fighting each other.

clumber said...

Anonymous (above) has a good point, but failed to direct our attention to the really humorous section, to wit:

"3. Proud people hate to be criticized even constructively but love playing the critic (pharisees). Now, it is true that nobody loves criticism. I don't like it one bit. But if you're proud you simply cannot handle it. You're not just defensive, you are unable to process the criticism as anything but an attack. When you're criticized, you immediately generate a thousand reasons why the critic is wrong, doesn't understand, isn't looking at the facts. Sometimes critics are wrong, especially if the critic is another proud person, but because you're proud, you can't assess honestly whether the critic is ever right."


And the idea of a bald MK is making me want to avoid the south side of Binghamton!

Anonymous said...

This is, indeed, a shocking development.

Who ever would have imagined that a pack of rage-a-holic Pharisees would start to judging one another?

Robert said...

Yes, shocking that they would not turn against themselves!

Anonymous said...

Their shared fatred of TEC was all that united them.

Now that TEC is out of the picture they will fight like cats in a sack.