As every Reasserter knows, the future of Anglicanism depends upon stealing churches. Granted, so far the wicked judges whom our Infallible Father in Heaven mistakenly appointed to rule over us have generally decided Episcopal church property is in fact the property of the Episcopal church, and not that of a new sect created by a former Bishop of Pittsburgh, but the principle remains the same: “Thou shalt not steal” applies only to six-packs of beer from the local 7-Eleven, automobiles belonging to people you like, and any act of larceny involving a blue-collar perpetrator. Everything else is fine, and in the case of parish buildings if one shares the theological inclinations of Jack Iker or little David Schofield, the theft can even be considered a work of supererogation.
Thanks to The Lead I’m delighted to learn that this truth, which up until now has only been applied in the U.S. and Canada, is now attracting adherents in Great Britain. In fact church theft is catching on so fast there that Peter Walley, chaplain to the Bishop of Lichfield, described this development to The Times as “the biggest asset-stripping of churches since the dissolution of the monasteries”.
So far it appears British church-thieves have some way to go before matching their Conservative North American brethren, since according to the The Times they’re currently only stealing the roofs, and leaving behind items of real value such as the silverware, pews and parishioners. Surely ACNA can spare at least one Bishop (goodness knows they’ve more than enough of them) to jump across the Atlantic and show them how to do things properly – if Bobby Duncan is serious about mission he should make this an issue of the highest priority. At the very least someone needs to quickly take everything they can grab from all these roofless churches before the apostate authorities have a chance to make the premises more secure. One only has to look at little Matt Kennedy’s story to see how much harder stealing church property becomes once the locks have been changed and the building secured.
I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.