“If your faith isn’t static” I always teach young Christians, “our Loving Father is going torture you for all eternity.” This principle is something all the important names in the Glorious Schism understand; they might speak of the “living’ God, but you’ll never catch anyone at Viagraville implying God’s interaction with humanity might be in any way dynamic.
Sure it was in the past, as suggested by errors in the Infallible Word of Scripture such as Jonah 3:10, which depicts God as having a change of heart concerning the smiting of Nineveh, doubtless because it seemed easier to simply wait a couple of thousand years and let George W. Bush and the American taxpayers do it instead. Yet this passage should foremost be seen as indicative that Jonah clearly lacked focus when it came to building the kind of congregation that Rick Warren bothers soliciting.
After all, when it comes to travelling to speaking engagements Jonah’s standards were distinctly lower than contemporary expectations; correct me if I’m wrong but I don’t think Bishop Tom Wright accepts “in the belly of a great fish” as an acceptable substitute for Business Class (although given little Peter Jensen’s investment prowess I believe his serfs are being ordered to investigate it as an affordable alternative to flying – the current problem is finding a fish capable of swallowing Bishop Falstaff).
No, if we are to grow subservient, unthinking hordes for Jesus we must dismiss the archaic notion of a dynamic God the same way we have replaced the notion of faith as only finding expression in community; with simplistic misinterpretations of single verses removed from their Scriptural context. Thus when confronted with the notion that God is calling us to move on from a nasty late-Victorian notion of sexual identity and marriage, we need to chant Hebrews 13:8 (“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”) in much the same way as the sheep chant in Orwell’s Animal Farm.
Never mind that the author of Hebrews said this in the course of a polemic against the idea that gentile Christians should submit to the Torah – it’s only the rhetoric that matters. More crucially, never permit people to think about the implications of interpreting that verse literally, or else they may start to wonder how Jesus could've learned how to use modern firearms. After all, how can anyone be the Son of God if they can’t operate an automatic rifle? And on a similar note, 6,935 days without once putting on fresh underwear is excessive for anyone - even if they are divine.
I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.