Wednesday, March 25, 2009

The second point...

The second interesting point in response to my recent homily discussing little Benny XXX and the funny things he gets away with telling people in the schismatic “church” he works for was raised by another young Priest, who put opined that since a great many Gay people are attracted to the Anglican and RC Churches; "Would it not be sensible to close down these organisations? That way, gay people would disappear along with AIDS and we could all obey Holy Benny's teaching."

Now I can quite understand that on face value there’s a certain appeal to this argument: when not threatening to swim the Tiber faithful Anglicans have been trying to close down the Roman schism for centuries. Equally, when not claiming that they alone represent the true Anglican church, most Gafconeers are resolute in their determination to see Anglicanism transmogrified into a genus of Brethrens that permit heterosexuals to wear frills and funny hats when not in Sydney, and to look like lawyers and merchant bankers when they are. And which pretends to believe Nigeria represents a moral template for the rest of world, and can say as much without bursting out in laughter.

Yet despite all the glorious hot air nobody’s even come close to succeeding in shutting down anyone. I’ve got to agree that the thought of giving the false teachers of Rome a good thumping prior to Our Lord lovingly casting them into the Lake of Fire is indeed a pleasurable one, but at the same time one has to admit that if we finally won our battle against Rome dear old Father McCracken from St. Catamite’s down the road would also be out of a job, and if that happened where else could I go on Monday nights for a pleasant evening’s socialising now that I’ve been kicked out the Freemasons?

More’s the point, I very much doubt anyone could ever really obey Benny’s teaching: Fr. McC’s told me a thing or two about life in the Vatican, and let me tell you – Nashotah House has got nothing on those cheeky lads! They may look as pure as the chaps at Oak Hill from the outside, but you don’t have to scratch their itch too deeply to discover that deep down they’re as wild as… well, as wild as the chaps at Oak Hill. Our Lady of Walsingham isn’t the only place in Great Britain that knows how to party, if you follow my meaning.

Besides, the moment everyone really does stop doing what comes naturally (which I predict will occur at precisely the same time King Canute finally gets the tides to obey his commands) you can bet your bottom rosary the rules will be changed, and the new sin-du-jour will be having knobbly-knees, or liking anchovies. Much better we stick with simply claiming to hate each other, and rattling our sabres when we think anyone’s watching. That way the wicked apostate Anglicans can continue welcoming anyone who’s found the confidence to be the person God created them, while everyone else can continue trying to cover up our own insecurities by picking on people less powerful than ourselves, and nobody need run the risk of losing more than 10% of their congregation. Hey; you can’t say that strategy hasn’t worked for David Virtue. So far…

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.


Anonymous said...

As usual, Dr Troll, your analysis furthers our theological understanding. However, on the subject of 'closure', I would draw your attention to a Medical Scientist's report on an EIDS epidemic prevalent in parts of the Southern Hemisphere. "Evangelical Immunity Deficiency Syndrome" has caused once-healthy Anglicans to transmute into rabid Baptists. Symptoms include an inane grin, an inabilty to stop quoting Scripture and, when gay people are mentioned, foaming at the mouth. Tragically,these afflictions can be passed onto the spouse, even when using a condom. A particularly virulent strain has been discovered at Moore College, Sydney and has been found in Oak Hill and Nashota Bible Colleges. We must be alert to the possibility of the whole Anglican Communion being destroyed by EIDS. Science suggets the above Bible Institutions be closed forthwith.

Leonard said...

AND..I just read this morning about ¨Fundamentalists Anonymous¨...a secret fellowship where one is certain to meet all sorts of striving, self-deceiving and righteousness clammouring upsidedown fruitcakes trying become Angel Food Cakes!

Unsafe at anyspeed.

When are the extremists going to take a little nappy-poo, clean the froth of their faces/refresh themselves with some serious electro-shock treatments and get down to the business of LIVING IN THE REAL! You know, REALITY, the place where God wants us all to be the authentic versions of ourselves (so we can do a little Soul searching then pray our butts off and work hard to overcome some very serious character flaws).

No sense beating around the burning bush when there are so many REAL LIFE contemporary examples of vileness to note...did you know they still BURN witches in Kenya? Check it out...haven´t heard Benny or Rowan or Archbishop Benjamin Nzimbi of Kenya of Kenya say sh*t about BURNINGS as they are busy twittering about LGBT marriages and their own self-supporting.

Seriously: Please view with caution, I´m still having nightmares that this could happen to OUR fellow human beings...I have real dread that Akinola and Orombi and their anti-lgbt Christian/Muslim witch hunt will result in the same crimes against humanity as this:

May God Bless the eternal Souls of these tortured victims of fear and hate.

Lord Hear My Prayer